December 25, 2005

The First Day

This is the first day of my vacation; It's about 8.30 in the Morning and I'm soon to fly out. I have internet access for a few minutes now, but after this it will be very scanty... so I think I'll write things of especial interest in a notebook to post upon my return. If I'm not to lazy and/or busy.

This Morning, I went to the window, half in fear... and saw... Just enough snow to make a decent White Christmas. I was so pleased. ^^ It was really a race against time this year, as two days ago I was comfortable outside in a t-shirt. (Well, it was a little chilly with a t-shirt. But not bad) Of course, that was insane... unnatural feeling. But still, I thought hopes of a White Christmas had to be postponed to next year. Good Job Missouri! I guess it can cool down in a hurry when the pressure mounts ;).

Peace out, love you all, and I'll see you upon my return... and Austin's promised to get me back into good shape writing wise, so we shall see...

Oh, and I got a Webcam! >D

December 18, 2005

The Captive Angel II

Just as my bonds begin to weaken, vacations loom ahead... Alas! After these lie the dreaded final exams. I wish you all luck in all pursuits, and will rejoin you as I can...

December 14, 2005

The Captive Angel

I fear my mother is turning my house into a computer-withdrawel clinic. More later... I hope. :P

December 07, 2005

Biographies: Final Stage

Expect Three Biographies tomorrow: one for ME and two for TC. I know they have been a dreadfully long time coming, and for that I ardently apologize; I can only blame November for being a soap opera and December for only letting me recover slowly with Finals looming ahead. Gomen ne! Can you all forgive me?

December 06, 2005


I was awesome at the Racquetball Game today. First game: 15-1. Second Game: 15-0. I sort of felt bad because I thought she was a first year player, but we talked and she's been playing as long as I have. ^^ That felt good, in a mean sort of way. ^^ I guess that's what sports are about?

It's Sticking

Yay! The First Real Snow! It's still mildly pathetic, but at least it's sticking and you can make footprints in it and such. Too bad I'll be away all day or I'd walk around in it some. Or is it even worth that? *Peers out from her window doubtfully...*

December 05, 2005

Demasiado Racquetball!

Ich spiele Racquetball sehr gern, men jeg liker ikke subbing. -.- So yes, I'll be out until later tomorrow, it's a last minute affair. Alas, it cannot be helped. Tschüß!

Dance of Keys

Yay, I have a new keyboard so now I can type any language I want with surprising speed! ^^

私 は かたぜ!

¡Tengo un teclado nuevo! ¡Es muy bella! ¿Qué debo hacer con esto primero?

Ich möchte ein Paar Kekse!

Jeg lærer gammel-norsk fordi norsk er ikke kjedelig!

Ego sum fessa...

Hva nå?

December 04, 2005

Some Things I Like

So whether it was just time (as a teenager), or whether it was inspired by all of Stian's personality quizzes, lately I've been spending some time reflecting on a certain subject... myself. :P So it's a little emo, maybe, but I wanted to post a few thing's I've discovered I liked recently.

  • Hitting a really nice shot in Racquetball
  • Waking up and stepping onto cold, but clean, carpet
  • Wearing Pajamas with Long Sleeves and Pants
  • Wearing Pajamas with no sleeves or pants
  • Cursing in Norwegian
  • Olives
  • Nicole - she's a fun gal
  • Showering until my hair literally squeaks
  • Tomato Soup with Fire Grilled Corn
  • Chocolate - I rediscover it every few monthes
  • Spanish Idioms


Wow, I feel like I've improved so much in the last week, but really it's just my hard work finally coming to the surface. I won a match on Friday; it was close, but the girl was a year older so it should have been. Then I won a game, but lost the match on Saturday, but she called lots of time outs so I know I was making her work for it. Then at practice today I had Kate 14 to 5, she came back and won but there were some amazing rallies in between. Then I destroyed little Layla, who had beaten Kate just before. Go me! I'm placing the ball really well now, so I just have to get my shots lower. That's the next step. But first; a few days of break. Maybe.

December 03, 2005

Conquered the Low

I truly believe now that I have conquered both the low of grades, racquetball and life and the soap opera segment of my life. Unless something earthshattering comes up, I think I'm finally back to me. :P

Bruschetta, Racquetball, and Movies

So yesterday my Racquetball Tournament started, and I had the first team win with a relatively close game. (Go me. ^^) Then today I played my second match, won the first game, loss the second, then lost a close tiebreaker. A little dissapointing, but it actually works out because now I can go to Nicole's Movie Night. ^^ I wonder who will be there?

In the meanwhile, my family made Bruschetta and it was tasty. ^^ I love me some olives. Peace out, all, and I'll see you more tomorrow.

December 01, 2005

Insane Stress... But Also a Plan

Okay, so I am very stressed out, but I have a plan that goes like this.

Every day when I get home from school I can be on until 5:45, at which point I have to sign off and do homework until all homework is done. Then I can get back on. End Plan.

Also, my plan for tomorrow is thus: I get home at 3:30. I leave at 3:45 for Racquetball. I sit around for forty-five minutes doing god knows what. I play two games. I leave. I get home at 6:45 latest. I babysit as soon as I get home. I babysit until 11:00. I come home and go to sleep. My life is significantly destressed.

My Plan for this semester grades: Bio I think I can get up because it's a high C and I have insane amounts of Science Fair points left. Math I think is stuck at a C, but I know my grade point can handle it and that only leaves my dad. I do well on the next two tests and show him those, he is satisfied. I get an H in Latin, that shouldn't be back-breakingly difficult. Even though it is a frivolous elective grade, I suspect my parents are somewhat pleased by the elusive H. Hurrah. Everyone goes home happy or at least satisfied; next semester I suspect History will be harder and Math easier, and I will have the new schedual all semester. We shall see, precious.

I really don't think I've been this stressed before in my life. I actually... I actually have a stress headache. How strange.

Just a Little Snow

So this morning I woke up to see snow. Not much, but a little on the rooftops and on the pool, and more by far in the air where it swirled about with suprisingly large flakes. The newspaper reported it as a 'measureable snowfall." which means that someone at least had time to pull out a ruler before it all melted away. Now, things could potentially be worse for December 1st, but they better continue to improve or I'll be sad. ;-;


Today in Spanish class, we were learning how to discuss accidental events. Things got interesting (for me, at least), when we got to the word Acabar. Now, strictly speaking Acabar means "To Come to an End", and in the context we were using it it meant more naturally "To run out." But the sad fact is, it has two other... more interesting... meanings with sexual connotations that I will not spoil virgin eyes by posting on a public blog but which can easily be guessed based on the traditional meaning. With that background information, here was a particularly disturbing quote from class:

A Señora Kiser se le acabó el bacalao.

Traditional Translation: The codfish accidently ran out on Mrs. Kiser.

True and Honest Grade Guesses

I was foiled in my attempt at a 4.0 by my Math Class... *evil... mutter...*, but I fear not. After all, my goal for highschool is to have a career GPA of 3.7 or higher, and to get 4.0 in some semester at some point. I thought it might have been this time, but life happens... *sigh*

Anyway, here are my true and honest guesses for what my Report Card will look like:

Biology - 3.5
Latin - 5.0
German - 4.0
History - 3.5, 4.5
Spanish - 4.0
English - 3.5, 4.5
Math - 2.0

So yeah, the math really kills me, but my grade point average will survive as a highest (assuming I get the better parenthesis) as 3.9, which is not at all bad. It is kind of unfair that the classes I'm best with; German and Spanish, don't go any higher than 4.0, but at least Latin does this year. ^^ Hurrah!

November 30, 2005

A Hunch and a Memory

So this morning I don't know what came first, the Norwegian or the Board Game, but I suddenly got to thinking that å huske was Norwegian for to remember, and I used to own an old memory game called Huskerdoo. (The spelling and all was off, but I used to play it long before I knew how to read, so I only heard my mom say it to me.) I wondered vaguely if there was a relationship, then thought that Husker Du... wouldn't that be the question form? Do You Remember? I was brilliantly excited! Unfortunately, I had to wait all day to investigate this hunch, and then I got home, and sure enough, thats where they pulled the name from! I hadn't thought about 'Huskerdoo' for years! :P The site did say they got it from the Danish Husker Du, conveniently enough also Do You Remember? That was a little dissapointing, but I was pretty close. ^^ Excitement.

November 29, 2005

Khaos on Wednesday

On Wednesday, I have a Racquetball game and then Bible Study right after that. So I shan't be home much. Oh, and we'll be riding in Kate's new 15 passenger van! Hurrah!

Como Agua Para Chocolate

The first bit of 'authentic' Spanish we get to read. I am excited, although it's kind of hard too!

La primera miga de español 'auténtico' leeremos. Estoy excitado, aunque es un poco dificil tambien!

November 28, 2005

This Emptiness is Strange

In German class today I was asked a question, but I found myself vague and disinterested.

"Nei.." I replied, my voice fading off. I might have dropped in the n, or maybe not. The teacher took it as correct, so perhaps it was there, but despite myself I found I didn't care worth anything. If my life doesn't slow down, somethings going to break. Its not the heat or the cold that torture me, its the contrast between. Like a hot glass that shatters plunged into cold water. It's bent me all out of shape.

All night long I feel free and alive and like someone, and then I go back to school and I feel like a sad little number again. And each world seems strange from the other like I'm viewing it through an unwashed window. -.- Angst Feast. I need to snap out of this.

Death by Way of Stick

Mary Roth came up to me this morning. She was agitated, and grabbed my shoulders roughly. She wanted to talk, but I didn't feel like being talked at. Anger and its friends have left me again, and happiness is replacing it but slowly.

"I feel like beating someone with a stick." She said angrily.

"Well I know someone who needs to be beaten with a stick," Said I. "I think we can help each other." I edged past her to the door and just left. It was unlike me, but with the soap-opera my life's been the last three weeks even I have the right to a little angst.

November 27, 2005

Some Good Poetry

Since it's all about Johnny Cash lately, I thought I'd post some Kris Kristofferson.

Casey joins the hollow sound of silent people walking down,
The stairway to the subway in the shadows down below.
Following their footsteps through the neon-darkened corridors,
Of silent desperation, never speaking to a soul.
The poison air he's breathing has the dirty smell of dying,
Cause it's never seen the sunshine, and it's never felt the rain.
But Casey minds the arrows and ignores the fatal echoes,
Of the clicking of the turnstiles and the rattle of his chains.


I wrote this in my notebook at my Lakehouse to post here. Strange how different my writing style is on paper.

Now I know where I'll take Stian to see the stars - and Austin too, if as he says there are no stars in Virginia. It must be terrible to live a life without stars. Here they were more than hard little lights in the sky; they were blazing. I might have felt them if I had stretched out my arms far enough and let the starlight fall on them.

But even out here, there's so much light pollution. And even at Blue Mountain, there are traces. I love Missouri, but I wonder if I can spend my whole life here, choosing between barbed wire fences and trailer trash or the richer life with bright lights and highways paved over with oil. I want to get out somewhere where I can really see the stars shine. Is there still such a place? Will there be one for my children and my grandchildren?

Surely the gods give with one hand and take with the other. Must the age of man also be one without stars or beauty? Must every brightly lit house wink out a star?

It Cannot Be...

But it is... and it smells like rotten fish.

Alright, so at the moment I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad or angry, but I do know this: It's alright to change your priorities. It's even alright to ditch people cold, so long as you have the heart to do so. But for god's sake, at least tell them first. That way your 'friends' don't think you're dead and worry about you for a year or so.

November 22, 2005

And Comes a Moment

So I'm out, and such. :). To the lake house I go. I really need this break, but I intend to put it to good use and come back not only rested but also caught up. We shall see.

Anyway, I've been reading a book called "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden." I think I like it. It's about a girl with Schizophrenia. She reminds me a lot of myself - she likes languages, is fantasy oriented, and has a rather impressive imagination. At the same time, it helps me to read the book because I can easily see the line between having an imagination and being trapped in it. Anyway, good book and anyone should pick up a copy. Even though she cuts the inside of her arm with a broken can lid. *shudders* I had enough of that at Land of the Mystics, thankie.

Oh, and once they gave me a small segment of Yri with a translation, I was pleased. It was quite pretty for a bastard language like English, especially one constructed by a mortal.

-Pax Ex! (Is that how I might say it? :P)


Hrry Pttr Fer

Yeah, it was kind of blah. It was a little more exciting than the first couple, slightly better, even, but thats saying so little I was hardly inclined to mention it. The few funny parts were overshadowed by lots and lots of screaming. My favourite part of the Movie was probably Bagman's accent, which wasn't even so spectacular. Must they scream for every sound effect? And those god-awful French... with their blue hats... the Bulgarians were better but they overdid them as well. The Yule Ball looked way too tiny to fit everyone. That bothered me worse than it should have, I'm sure. Anyhow, I've seen it and I can cross something else off my list.

November 21, 2005

Selected Pages

Herein lie selected pages from my Spanish Assignment. To your left you see the graphic that accompanies the page on video games and their evolution. To the right, you see my 'global friends' illustration for the section on how technology affects my life. I thought Stian, Austin, and Gina at least deserved to see how I'm putting them in the project. :P Takk! Opposite it in the book is the text on a pong board. At the far bottom is a typical hippie illustration.

I'm Not Eating, But I Will Be

I haven't been eating lately. No idea why. I'd like to say its for some honourable cause, or even that my metabolism has slowed and I'm responsibly altering my portions to match. But more likely its these skrekkelige antibiotics. -.-

Anyway, it's saving me a lot of time. But I should eat something sooner or later. Probably. My Spanish assignment is beautiful, I might post a few pictures from it later. ^^

Anyhow, I sure hope my appetite returns to me, because Thanksgiving is coming up and it would sure be a shame to miss out on what could be my most enjoyable one ever. Historically, Thanksgivings have been bad for me; as the eldest of the second wave of cousins, I was locked in the basement with everyone aged 3 to my age, whether it was 10 or 14 that given year. My sister was the next closest in age, and we would do our best to survive. But this year we're going to the lake! Just the Six of us! Hurrah!

Today's Tough, Aþþan...

Today's Tough. I babysit until 5:15, then I have Racquetball in the late evening and a huge Spanish assignment in between. But I will perservere, and after this comes the break and peace. In fact, after tonight is much fun and minimum stress for much time. I will manage. After all, I have the best friends in the world. ^^

November 20, 2005

Science Fair

Oh, it's so much fun! Oh, not really...
It's a fette godt thing I have a break coming up, or I'd die about now.

Some Japanese Poetry

The future visible in tomorrow isn't even close to satisfactory, but
We only want the foolish strength that believes in that kind of thing
Surely we want to live with a groundless passion
Greater than regret, consolation, and the like, feeling only that much
We are here holding on to nothing
Where will we go tomorrow? We're too close to the edge

I love the stuff. Its so random, and can be applied to
nearly anything. Go Japan! ^^

Fruits Basket!

Totemo ureshikatta yo, kimi ga warai kakede ta
Subete otokasu chou emi de

Haru wa made tookute, tsumetai tsuchi no naka de
Me fuku toki o matta ta 'n de

Tatoeba kurushii hyouda to shite mo, kinou no kuzu o nakoshite ite mo
Shinjitai, kokoro hodo ite yukere to

Umare kawaru koto wa dekinai yo
Dekedo kawatta wa ikeru kara
Lets stay together, itsu mo

Boku dake ni waratte, sono yubi de, nee sawatte
Nozomi bakari ga hateshinaku

Yasashiku shitai yo, mou kuyanu you ni
Nageki no umi mo koete ikou

Tatoe kurushii kyou da to shite mo
Itsu ka atatakana omoide ni naru
Kokoro goto subete nage desete nara

Koko ni itaru imi ga wakaru yo
Umare ochita yorokobino shiru
Lets stay together, itsu mo

Tatoeba kurushii kyou de to shite mo
itsu ka atatakana omoide ni naru
Kokoro goto subete nage daseta nara

Koko ni taru imi ga wakaru yo
Umare ochita yorokobino shiru
Lets stay together, itsu mo

I must be really EMO to post this, but whatever. It is a nice song to listen to you when you are tired and almost have a headache.

Studying History with Austin

Always interesting:

[22:03] Ariochs Acolyte: I would like to note that William of Normandy is my dawg
[22:03] Elindomiel: Thank you for this information

[21:45] Ariochs Acolyte: Its rules on how monesteries should be ordered and maintained and run
[21:45] Ariochs Acolyte: thats what I remember
[21:45] Ariochs Acolyte: Unless you plan to become a nun, I don't see how it really matters
[21:45] Elindomiel: I plan to become a nun

Fortunately, I did manage to learn a little thoughout all this, and am hopeful of acing the test. ^^ Woohoo!

Original Shot

Austin insisted that I also include the original shot. So here it is, complete with old people, Tracy, Grace, and the Menu's. Posted by Picasa

Excessive Vanity

Here is a Photo of me that even I couldn't find too much fault with. So, I thought I'd show what I look like without all the elf stuff on. :P

Note: The distortion is to get rid of the background, which was in too much focus.

Time's Slowed Down Again...

How Strange. Time was moving so fast there for a while, and now... Everythings slow again... The things that happened last weekend seem a lifetime ago. I don't know what I like better, but I wish the world would make up its mind. :S


One project I had resolved not to procrastinate on, it turns out that I was absent the day they said the due-date, and I didn't even know we could start on part of it until tomorrow, and the whole things bloody due tomorrow! Alas!

November 17, 2005

Lutefisk Returns!

I read this site and laughed until I cried. It's really pretty funny, and I've never even eaten the stuff. Obviously written by a professional.

Some especially 'delicious' excerpts...

  • "Nonononono," she said, "you must have your own lutefisk. It would be rude to bring you to Norway and not give you your own lutefisk."
  • If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk.
  • The moment every traveller lives for is the native dinner where, throwing caution to the wind and plunging into a local delicacy which ought by rights to be disgusting, one discovers that it is not only delicious but that it also contradicts a previously held prejudice about food, that it expands ones culinary horizons to include surprising new smells, tastes, and textures.
  • I think my mistake was in using the dishtowel: you need to drink enough aquavit so you can't tell the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat with your eyes open

Black Widow Spiders

My last post mentioned the Black Widow spider, so in tribute to my long standing fascination with them I thought I'd make a post. I've always been eerily drawn to things that frighten me, and once I saw a program on tv about the worlds most dangerous spiders. Most of them lived in the Jungle or in Australia, so I was safe. But Saint Louis's little buddies, and Sydney's best friend both stayed in my mind. I still remember the contents of that tv show, so deeply did it impress me with its cheesy slow-mo and creepy music (I was a young and impressionable 7 year old! Alone in a house!)

  • Sydney Funnel Web's hide in holes in the ground. They are the worst, but they Stay in Australia where they belong. Yay! They can't touch me... until Shelob (half a lifetime later), that is!
  • Brown Recluses, for an inexplicable reason, never bothered me all that much. They hide in dusty workrooms and the like, and in the pockets of clothing. The only part that bothered me where they were concerned was there habit of getting stuck in bathtubs. To this day, I briefly scan the floor of the bathtub before I get in. But that's a good idea anyway! Otherwise your sister may have left tons of slippery conditioner there!
  • Black Widow's. Now these were the ones that scared me. They were the perfect textbook spider, with their beautiful, deadly, swollen black abdomens. Across the back, a series of red dots that confused the unskilled into thinking they were the less deadly males. Across the stomach; the hourglass in red. Mostly, they hang out in the woods. So I was safe at home. I thought I was safe period. They don't like people. Then the last line. "The Black Widow's favorite haunt is in outhouses, under toilet seats."
Now I prefer woods to an outhouse anyday, and I claim its for the smell, but theres more than that, really... :P

Ooohh... Theyre neat little spiders! They're called Black Widow's for that nasty habit of theirs for eating their mates after... mating. Theyre the most venomous spider in North America, and their venom is 15 times as toxic as that of the rattlesnake. Their silk is also nearly the strongest of any spiders. (My guess is the orb weavers and the tunnel webs have them beat, though) Symptoms of a bite include extreme pain, abdominal cramping, and paralysis of the diaphragm. Fun, eh?

Scary, but beautiful in their own creepy ways. The only thing I really and truly have a morbid fascination with.

Tense Situations

So after all those personality tests I took, I've been wondering... how do I really react in tense situations? It was hard, at first, for me to assess this facet of my being. How many tense situations, after all, does a straight laced fifteen year old in Missouri get herself into? As the day went on, I remembered a few things that I'd like to present to myself and too my fans as evidence.

When children I am babysitting (or are in my sunday school, or are at girl scout camp) are bad, I never get mad. I just calmly send them to bed or time out or the camp director.

When my dog was paralyzed and screamed like bloody murder when I picked her up one night, I said nothing but just continued to slowly pick her up.

Time limits don't fluster me overmuch. I often look at the clock, but keep very mechanical and methodical time measurements instead of worrying.

I always lead my group through any given haunted house, and when I do get a little unnerved my responses have included (The italics being when they put the chainsaw a few inches from my neck):
"Ai Elbereth!"
"You Need a Tic-Tac!"
*Hiss-caughing back at them, heavy on the phlegm*
Theres no blade, theres no blade
"Oh, yes yes! Me, me!"
"Ah.. Ai... Hva heter du??"

When I put on my shoe one day at Camp, I noticed a shiny, interestingly shaped Black Widow spider (Yes, that's the most poisonous kind in Missouri) on my sock. Surprising even myself, looking back at the incident five minutes later, I said at the time: "Hey, Muddy, I have a black widow on my sock. Wan't to catch it in a jar to show the little kids what to watch out for?"

Except for the last, these are hardly textbook examples of tense situations, but I take what I can get. I think they might reflect, to an extent, how I would act with something more important and stressful. Who knows, really? Just felt like getting some thoughts out.

Bad Mood (No, not Müde, Mood!)

I'm in a fairly low mood because my mom has been really mean tonight, our trip to Spain and Italy next summer is cancelled, and Stian and Austin think I left without saying goodnight. I'd like to know where Stian dissappeared to for twenty minutes as I tried to say goodbye. Ah well, it can't be helped. The final reason is I'm sad. ;_; Yes, sad. I've been waiting for a week now for a certain present from Ary. Will I ever get it? Find out in the next exciting issue...

And 15 degrees!

Missouri is making up for it's lost time in a hurry! Reminds me of Athens scrambling for their recent Olympics. Three days ago, it was 60 degrees outside! Now it's 15! Impressive! I could learn one or two things about procrastinating from the masters, it appears...

November 16, 2005

Spanish Essay!

Anything so much time and extra work has gone into must be posted, despite how sad (though grammatically correct) it may seem to a native speaker, or how stereotypical and pathetic its contents! It is known!

Creo que tecnología es quimérica, pero necesitamos tener cuidado en botando el basura y administrado el calidad del aire. Fabricas y camiones cuál acarrear mercaderías deben desarrollar a ser mas ecológico. Estoy fanático, apero, de las computadoras y el correo electrónico. Con estas cosas, puedo hablar con personas a través del mundo muy fácilmente. No podría hablar con Misaki de Suiza, Stian de Noruega, Takumi de Japón, Gina de Inglaterra, o Harald de Alemania, sin la red.

En el tiempo de mis padres, muchas cosas nuevas fueron inventadas. Videocaseteras llegó a ser muy popular. Ahora, porque de las videocaseteras, podemos mirar videos en nos casas. Computadoras, también, empezaron a llegar a ser mas popular cuando mis padres asistieron colegio. Antes del desarrollo del chaquetas de Gortex, todo el mundo llevaban encauchados, y ellos sudaban siempre. ¡Gortex alteró chaquetas para siempre! Ahora, podemos ser secos sin sudar.

En mi vida, mucho ha cambiado. Hemos Desarrollado DVD’s para reponer VHS. Ahora, pueden criar ovejas como “Dolly”, y han estudiaba comida genéticamente manipulado. Tal vez estos adelantos nos ayudarán, y tal vez ellos serán arrastradizos, pero no sabemos ahora. ¡Es un poco temeroso, pero excitante! Los videojuegos también han cambiado mucho desde que era una niña muy pequeña. Primero, había Pong y Pacman, después Nintendo 64, y ahora hay muchos juegos muy complicado con gráficas fantásticas!

En el futuro, haremos muchos adelantos más. Pero, espero que no olvidemos la importancia de salud, ejercicio, y el planeta. Necesitaremos acomodarse estas cosas, y preservar el mundo. Por ejemplo, creo que computadoras llegarán a ser muy pequeña. Estos ordenadores serán muy portátiles. Nadie salgará la casa sin sus computadoras, organizadores, y teléfonos celulares. Próximamente no necesitaremos los ordenadores viajas, y los botaremos. ¡Polución de computadoras, teléfonos, y teclados usados esta llegando a ser un problema rápidamente! Necesitemos ser atentado con como botaremos nos basura.

Hay muchas cosas podemos hacer para ayudar el contaminación de medio ambiente. Debemos hablar con otros países de soluciones posible. Junto podemos encontrar algo que ayuda todo el mundo. Reciclado ayudará, pero no debemos ser tan gastadores como somos ahora. Necesitamos tener cuidado en el años futuros, pero también tendremos muchas cosas nuevas y excitante. ¿Quien sabe que el futuro traerá?

Creditos: Charles, Whitney, y mi professora de español por ayudarme con "podría" y "espero que no olvidemos."

The Purple Monster Comes

So it hit thirty degrees (Fahrenheit) at last today, which was call for the Purple Monsters long prophesized arrival. I have nothing, I am sad to report, between my windbreakers and The Purple One, so I had little real choice in the matter. Out it came, to school it went. Since I carry all my materials on my exclusive person, I basically leave the managing and use of the locker to Stephy, but I could hardly be expected to lug the Monster with me to class. So the bell rings. Which locker is mine? It is a problem. I know not the number. There are over 2000 lockers in the school. However, I know the lock. It's been my lock since sixth grade, and has served me well year after year. No time for fond memories. The time is ticking.

It is in the Sophomore Hallway. The lock is black. I move from lock to lock. No time to try the combination, but I've had this lock forever. My fingers move the dial. The grain on this one is too rough. This one is too sticky. This one is slippery. This one... just right. I know it is mine. I enter the combination. Lo and Behold! I gain access. I slide the Purple Monster in and rush up to Latin class. I'm barely on time, but I doubt Mr. McAllister would care, really. Aiyee! Good thing I did manage to be on time! The principals sitting in on our class today.

Hours go by. It is time to leave. I return to the locker, and hopefully turn the dial. Of course, it is mine. I reach for the Purple Monster with surprising fondness. Stephy appears behind me.

"I found a monster in my locker today." She says.
"Didja now? It is that time of year..." It is difficult to put on such a fluffy jacket while standing in the middle of the hall with a backpack full of books and arms full of binders. I manage it and head to the bus. The air is rather warm with all the people and the school to break the wind. I remember my dad being nasty to me that morning.

"I thought you liked the cold." He said as I replaced another flimsy paper-jacket with something that might be considered a coat.

"I like the cold." I said. "I don't like being cold. There's a fine line between eccentricity and insanity."

As always, I struggle to walk that line. Whether I succeed is another matter entirely. Another story, another monster.

November 15, 2005


So I was in Racquetball, and I was thinking to myself about a mistake I had made earlier that day. Mistakes weigh heavily on me. For what reason in God's name would I have put 'på meg' instead of 'for meg'? What was in my subconscious telling me to put the former? I had to get to the root of the problem and singe it to the core. Surely I had not seen 'på meg' before! But I had! Oh yes! Ary said "Vent på meg." Such a small difference to make it "Vent for meg." I didn't care at the time. Such nuances were unimportant. So 'på meg' dangerously entered my brain as 'for me'. It all made sense! I screamed "Eureka!" I missed the ball. Well, they should know I can't play my best while I'm having an epiphany.

Yo Tengo Mucho Tarea!

Yo tengo mucho... no! Demasiado tarea ahora. Tengo tarea de biología, matemáticas, inglés, alemán, español, y latín . (¡Pero Me gusta las idiomas!) ¿Por que necesitamos saber de numeros imaginario? No llegarémos a ser matemáticos, ¡vamos!


They seem to have an entire chapter, or nearabouts, about Lutefisk in my Norwegian book. Is it so spectacular? There was some dialogue where they were talking about it looking nasty but tasting great. I'm confused :P

November 14, 2005

Arabic Music = A Families Reflection

I brought home a couple Arabic Music CD's from my neighbor. (He's so nice! ^^) I was playing them in the kitchen today when I had the... fortune? of witnessing my families various reactions to it.

Melissa: Ahhh! I hate Arabic! (Why?) I don't know! I just do!

Mom: Wow! It's funny, you think Arabs don't have lives, but they do! They have children! There are children singing on this CD! They let their children sing!

Dad: Utter Silence

First of all, I want to know when my sister turned into a hate-filled radical, and second of all, I'd like to know how my mom used to think they procreated in Arabia... o.O

What Makes Me Mad. >:O

It makes me madder than abyssus when I get a pencil and try to erase, and it turns out the eraser's older than methuselah and just smears the ink around a bit. Then you seek out another pencil, but theyre all old and probably hard and groady. So you spy a full size eraser at the bottom of the pencil tin, but you can't reach it, so you end up dumping out the whole thing to erase a small mistake on infernal Math Homework. Haufaufgaben is from Hell.


Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||| 51%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||| 48%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||| 26%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||| 33%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||| 26%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 77%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||||| 80%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||| 43%

Although, I think I rated myself too high on Aggressiveness.

Personality Test Results

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.
Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by

November 13, 2005


I feel like posting, men I have an English essay due manana. Spanish assignment auch. o.o Ich bin sehr mude. All of a sudden, too. Must have been staying up so late Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. Yeah, that would do it.


Cliffhangers should be outlawed if you can't find out the rest of the story for what could potentially be years. Discuss.

Languages! ^^ Me too, Ary!

So now I can cement my reputation permanantly by copying Ary's little list. ^^

I am more ambitious, so I'm going for eight. I feel like covering the gambit, to make it easier when I learn another language. After all, barring these, there are precious few language families left other than like Bantu and Native American things... and I really doubt I'll be spending much time there.

I put them in order of when I have or plan to start learning each one. Other ideas may present themselves, and I'm still unsure about Russian, but it sounds like a challenge! ^^


November 12, 2005

Survey Thing. ^^

Birthday:March 8th, 1990
Current Location:Missouri
Eye Color:Brown
Hair Color:Dark Brown
Height:Above Freakishly Short
Right Handed or Left Handed:Right
Your Heritage:All across the map... Native American, Scottish, Irish, Spanish, French, Canadian... I'd say I look fairly Pictish! :P
The Shoes You Wore Today:Tennis Shoes for Puppy-Sitting, Black Boots for Church
Your Weakness:Humility (Or Lack Thereof)
Your Fears:Spiders in the Kitchen (Anywhere else they're fine)
Your Perfect Pizza:Cheese and Scampi!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:H in Latin!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:Kawaii!
Thoughts First Waking Up:Usually in a language I don't speak. Often Old English. I dream in Old English, mostly.
Your Best Physical Feature:Big Dark Eyes
Your Bedtime:Whenever I feel like it on the Weekends, whenever I can on the Weekdays.
Your Most Missed Memory:What's this supposed to mean?
Pepsi or Coke:I hate all Soda.
MacDonalds or Burger King:I can stomach Burger King if the alternative is Starvation.
Single or Group Dates:Group Dates... but Polyamorous.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:I'm not big on Tea, either. I get enough caffeine from Chocolate.
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:Cappuccino. Sometimes.
Do you Smoke:No.
Do you Swear:Not in English.
Do you Sing:In the Shower.
Do you Shower Daily:Of Course.
Have you Been in Love:Too Many Times
Do you want to go to College:Where else can I learn 8 languages and beat Ary?
Do you want to get Married:In Tibet. (Polyandry all the way)
Do you belive in yourself:No. There is no way anyone this sexy could exist.
Do you get Motion Sickness:Once. I rode the Ninja about 8 times in a row (not getting off) with a full bladder. Under ordinary circumstances, that'd be a no.
Do you think you are Attractive:Hell yes.
Are you a Health Freak:If some of my habits are healthy, that's just good luck.
Do you get along with your Parents:Usually.
Do you like Thunderstorms:Always.
Do you play an Instrument:God Save Us if I Did.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Probably.
In the past month have you Smoked:No.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Laughing Gas at the Dentist
In the past month have you gone on a Date:I'm on a date every night with friends like mine.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Doubtful.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:No.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Yes. Sushi no Onigiri!
In the past month have you been on Stage:Not for a Performance.
In the past month have you been Dumped:No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:Hell yes, Halloween was a week ago. My Sisters bag of candy is unprotected.
Ever been Drunk:Yes. I can get certifiably drunk on anything.
Ever been called a Tease:No. But I know the worlds greatest.
Ever been Beaten up:No. I'm way to tough for that. Not to say it hasn't been attempted.
Ever Shoplifted:No.
How do you want to Die:After I've published a really good book, and loved, and seen the world, I don't really care.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:A Writer on my Spare Time. The Breadwinning Act is Unimportant.
What country would you most like to Visit:I can't put that in order! Any country whose language I'm learning!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:I like all eye colours except light brown.
Favourite Hair Color::P Uhm... all my fantasy guys have dark, coal grey hair, but as that doesn't exist...
Short or Long Hair:Short. Long if it means long strands, but still above the ears. That's ok, but not neccessary. No ponytails! Eek!
Height:Not Shorter than Me? Shouldn't be Hard? Under 7 foot.
Weight:Preferably decent BMI. K, so I copied. :P
Best Clothing Style:Simple and Comfortable. Nothing Garish. Nothing Gothic.
Number of Drugs I have taken:Too Many to Count. Penicillan, Rhinocort...
Number of CDs I own:Uhm... No Tengo Ni Idea.
Number of Piercings:Ears.
Number of Tattoos:None.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:Mostly just Stupid things I've said. Can most people count these?



An Amusing Resource. I shall be delving into it for weeks to come. ^^

November 03, 2005

The legend of Qu'Appelle

  • Qu'Appelle (Saskatchewan) - the town name is from the river, known to the Cree as kab-tep-was. This means "the river that calls." The legend associated with the name tells of a Cree man paddling home, when he heard his name called out. He recognized the voice of his bride, who was still many days travel away. He answered, "Who calls?" and a spirit mimicked him: "Who calls?" He then hurried home to find that his bride had died, uttering his name with her last breath. French settlers in Saskatchewan perpetuated the legend by naming the river Qu'Appelle, meaning "who calls?"

October 26, 2005


We are bringing in groceries.

"I think I'd like some medicine for Schitzophrenia," I say, but she doesn't take it as a simple conversation starter.


"Because I hear voices." Duh. Why else would someone take medicine for Schitzophrenia?

"What kind of voices?"

"All kinds. Male, Female, Child, Adult, Sad, Happy. It may just be my imagination getting away from me, but sometimes it gets away in the middle of Spanish Class and I spend the period chasing it down again. Quite troublesome, to be sure."


My mom decided to reuse some old towels by putting them in our bathroom, which is fine, but now she's decided to redo the whole bathroom to go with them, and it's going to look hideous. She says she really wants to give it a cabin feel. -.- I don't want to feel like I'm in a cabin when I'm taking a shower. I'd rather feel clean, thanks.

October 25, 2005

Bitte Hon, Bitte

"Bitte schön." The teacher says. The class repeats. "Bitte schön."

And one girl sees a day a year or more ago, when the sun was shining brightly.

"Danke." She says, and he replies, "Bitte hon, Bitte."

"Hon?" She asks. "Ist das Deutsch?" He laughed then. "Nein. Hon is a word I use often and to the annoyance of girls everywhere."

"Was möchtest du, Petra?" The teacher asks her. Ich möchte die alte Weise. Ich möchte gestern. "Ich möchte ein Simtbon." She says.

October 24, 2005

Page 524

I'm on page 524 now, so ere long I shall finish and have much rambling and ranting for your enjoyment >:D

October 19, 2005

A Feast for Crows

I got it! I got it! ^^ I can't wait to read it, it looks so beautiful... even if they removed my very favorite charectors... and the next one won't make us wait 5 years, eh?


October 18, 2005

Vi Er Ett (Song)

Not by me, obviously, but it's pretty. ^^

Du vil se langs livets sti
Det er mye som vi
Ikke forstår
Og det eneste vi vet
Er at usikkerhet
Er livets kår

Men du vil også se
At du har oss alle med
Når du kjemper og kroppen blir trett
Vi vil våkne til dåd om du trenger til et råd
Vi er mer enn d ser vi er ett

Flokken vår
Flokken vår
Vi er ett
Flokken vår
Flokken vår
Vi er ett

Med så mye slit og stell
Får jeg være meg selv
Slik som jeg er
Kan jeg stole på min sjel
Eller er jeg en del
Av planen her

Våre aner ser ned
Fra sin plass i slektens tre
Får snart vil du være berett
Du skal ut på en ferd
Vise frem ditt sanne verd
De er med legg av sted
Vi er ett

Flokken vår
Flokken vår
Vi er ett
Flokken vår
Flokken vår
Vi er ett

Flokken vår
Flokken vår
Vi er ett
Flokken vår
Flokken vår
Vi er ett

Vi er ett du og jeg
Og vi vandrer samme vei
Når alle er med er det lett
All den klokskap vi har
All den gjervhet som det tar
Den er din om du ser
Vi er ett

October 17, 2005

Enchanted, Yes

Norwegian is my new Favorite Language. (Though they pass like cravings, or so it would seem.)

Once I figure out how to (quickly) make the extra alphabetical letters, I will be well on my way to Norwegian Conquest!

Jeg ønsker å lære norsk. :D

October 11, 2005

Samsara? No Entiendo...

Impermanence. Samsara. I don't understand it.
I know that nothing lasts forever; not peace, not hope, not even love, or so it would seem. I know that nothing golden can stay. There are days I feel I know it more than anyone. But I know this too; that amid darkness there is light, amid weeping there is joy, and that sorrow isn't permanent either. I know that the night lasts no longer than the day, the winter no longer than the summer. Grief is Grief, and Joy is Joy, and what lies between makes us Human.

October 09, 2005

Role Playing

Role Playing has once again taken the reins of my life... I want EA to get big, I need it to get big, for there is no where else for me to go... o.O

October 07, 2005

Apple Picking and Fright Fest

Today is a very busy day for me; first I get to go Apple Picking and then to Fright Fest at Six Flags. ^^ I'm sure it will all be very fun, I just hope I don't get too tired!

Last night I finished two charectors; Viviane Shapiro and Lassarina... their Histories are rather shabby, but oh well, you can't bat a thousand every time. And I think they will be fun to play with. Not my favorites ever, but I am excited, at least.

October 06, 2005

Goals and Summaries

My goal is to get to where I'm producing 500 words a day; nothing for a full time writer, but more and more for a Sophomore in High School... :P I got 450 or so last night, so I'm doing better. Ciao!

October 04, 2005

Spontaneous Generation

I now have EzSupporter. How and Why, I know not. :S

October 01, 2005

Blogger Seems Faster?

My posts seem to be appearing on my blog faster lately. Have they changed something or am I just imagining things? :P

Heres a bit of recent exposition from the story. ;)

Anlan made the short trek through the small group of trees remaining near the camp and down towards the stream. He knew that not so far away it met the great river, but here by his home where the tree roots poked out of the earth and grasped at the water, it was peaceful, even friendly. His eyes jumped to what his out of place with the natural order - little places where the children made half hearted stepping stone bridges in fall, now mostly submerged by the higher waters of spring. Even so, the depth was uneven, the odd stone still poking out providing refuge for the grown frog amongst the sea of tadpoles. Out of place too are the deep pools, where the water is almost still and surprisingly murky in contrast to the illusion of clarity in the more shallow stretches.

A little more about Swords...

This site looks interesting. :D
Swords from all over the world!

Interesting Blogs

All information on Swords. Really neat Resource Links abound. God I love Swords.

A blog run by a published historical fiction author on... you guessed it, Historical Fiction. Worth the occasional read.

The author asks questions, and they get answered by other people with suggested resources. Some of these things can be easily solved via. Google, but other times useful books are recommended. ^^ Useful for building up the non-fiction library both in the home and on the favorites list!

September 29, 2005

My Tootsie

My poor little Tootsie. I don't know if she'll ever come home again. I think about how much she liked sitting by the fire while we all worked, how good and sweet she was, how excited she got whenever dad came home, the little noise she made when we held up a T-Bone for her. The little crooked tail with a black diamond on it, the beautiful neck she once got shaved for an IV, the oversized eyes and undersized muzzle that made her look like a queen. Its starting to turn grey underneath. Starting. Only Starting. She's only eight years old.

The other night, the night before we took her to the Hospital, we put her to sleep in a little bed in the family room, put water next to her, and covered her up. We thought she might be more comfortable there than in the crowded bed upstairs. But as I was staying up late, I heard a sound and saw Tootsie panting behind me. She had dragged herself, half paralyzed, up two flights of stairs. Just to be with me. I can't imagine how painful that was. I can't imagine why she would do that.

But I wonder, did she know it would be her last night? Did she want to spend it with the ones she loved the most? In the green light falling through my office door, did she catch a glimpse of heaven?

A First

Probably my first incident triggered angst post. If someone feels a certain way, you can't change that. So don't tell them "don't feel this way" or "don't act like". Thats theyre feelings, and you can think they are your fault or their fault, and deal with it or let them deal with it alone... but don't tell them they arent real feelings. Thats not being any kind of friend.

September 28, 2005

Where now the Horse and the Rider?

Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning,
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?

-- J.R.R. Tolkien

It says everything and it says nothing. God I love Tolkien. Tragic, piercing nostalgia... talking of dead wood and corn and hauberks, and yet it would speak to a fourteen year old brat working at McDonalds between boyfriends...


I tell myself I'm learning so much now so that I'll always have it as I grow older, to fall back upon... but I do wonder if I'll be too busy learning to remember.

September 26, 2005

I will surely

No time. I will surely drown.

No time for language, no time for story, no time for sobe, no time for shrimp, no time for the Lay, no time for the boards... Austin, Homework, a little Story to keep me sane and then darkness.

September 21, 2005

Japanese and Such

I should call Mrs. Hirayoshi, but I'm nervous about talking to her on the phone. I feel like we won't be able to understand each other without our healthy mix of charades, pictograms, and words. But, it almost seems rude to go to someones house just to chat. So, will I just wait until she comes outside? I feel pathetic...

September 15, 2005

Random Bits of Inspiration

Another end of the spectrum - bizarre, random pieces of something greater... or of nothing at all. :P

  • Under the oiled cloth they felt as thin and weak as finger bones.
  • She hadn't reached her limit yet, but she knew it was there, creeping just out of sight. (Like a Black Hole was the distinct impression I got)
  • Filled with horrible, unfinished creatures. They had eyes that could not see, ears that could not hear, and their skin was pale and translucent.

September 10, 2005

A Week of Snapshots

This week all my inspiration (An above average amount of it, actually), has all come in brief but amazingly poignant snapshots. Brilliant. In one way, I really enjoy this; because a snapshot that vivid really stays with you, and can go so many different ways, but at the same time, it really puts a strain on me! I have to do something with it, I can't waste something so beautiful, but it leaves so much work for me. :P

Meh, I shouldn't complain... there are people who are struggling to get inspiration at all, and here I am complaining about an overload. Just a few bullets, more for my own personal reflection than the interests of my (any?) readers....

  • Lewis - (Originally, but briefly, Derrick) Bad film stock, kind of Sepia-toned. This was the most vivid, probably because I was open to it at the time and nurtured it. I actually wrote this one into decent words ---
  • Lewis has the eyes of an intellectual... grey-blue, clear but a shade secretive, large but gently tapered off on either end. Underneath the quiet innocence is a haunted, wary look, and beneath that is one of hunger and confusion, as if he doesn't know himself exactly what he's running from. Once past the eyes, his looks are rather uninspiring; a sharpening of a poor photo reveals little more than a boy of twelve, a little short for his age. His dark, tussled hair is cut close save for a few unruly bangs at that unmanageable length, obscuring his forehead and much of his eyes unless he sweeps it back regularly.

    His face is well featured; he will never be 'dashing', or 'handsome', but perhaps that is for the best. He has enough to deal with without the complications girls would bring. His hands are another surprise. They are wiry and gaunt, more like the hands of a grown man than such a young boy. They are quick and clever, and he relies on them more than he should.
  • A Woman with raven hair, older than she looks, braiding her hair with worn fingers as snow falls around her. There was also a slightly stereotypical and now fuzzy voiceover accompanying it.
  • Another woman on the edge of a (cliff, structure, something), looking over a city of unimaginable beauty, so far beneath that its colours are faded. Or maybe theres another reason... I think she's standing with someone else. There is strong wind. There usually is in my imaginings.

In the first and the last, eyes were the central focus, in the center one, it was her fingers. Kind of a common theme there. Good times, whatever :P

Songs of the Week: Three very different selections: Strangers Like Me, The Dream Within, and Zombie.

September 09, 2005


The other day I heard the song Zombie by the Cranberries. I listened to it a few times through, getting a feel for the creepiness, before I realised that (as usual) I was hearing the lyrics entirely wrong. Looking them up, I found date, and was intrigued enough to do a little research into the background of the song. It says this:

This was inspired by the IRA bombing in Warrington, Cheshire in 1993. Two children, Jonathan Ball and Tim Parry, were killed. The IRA (The Irish Republican Army) is a militant group determined to remove British troops from Northern Ireland.

It's actually a neat song, once you get past what she's doing in her throat.... This is my favorite line:

"It's the same old theme, since 1916.
In your head, in your head, theyre still fighting."

September 08, 2005

Eowyn's Dirge

In The Two Towers (Extended Edition), Eowyn sings a little dirge at her cousin's funeral. I remember this song; I remember hearing it for the first time. My friend Christina got it and called me over for a sleepover. We watched the whole thing through, then our favourite parts again. It was a long, wonderful night.
But this scene stands out in my memory mostly because it was the last time that the scenes of grief and devestation in the Lord of the Rings remained just that - didn't affect me on a personal level. I don't know what happened after that - whether I grew up, whether what I saw really did allow me to understand better, whether my melodrama at last exceeded my hyper unrealism.
Her grief wasn't real to me. Eowyn's Dirge was the last harmless tragedy.

No More Seperate Peace...

Mood: Recovering

No more Seperate Peace. This occurs to me suddenly. Like all English required reading Books, I resented the book at times, but now that it's over I realised how attatched we had gotten. I have to say it goes on the board with To Kill a Mockingbird and Watership Down as English assignments I really enjoyed. Like Scout, Jem, Fiver, and Hazel - Brinker, Leper, Brownie, Gene, and Finny will be with me forever. Who would have thought that the destroyed book with the sappy title, the cliche setting, and far too introspective cover could do what so few English novels have done?

Goodbye, Finny. Goodbye, Gene. ;_;

As a bizarre sidenote: Hogwart's least popular Headmaster in History was also named Phineas.

History Class

Honors World History rocks my socks. We learned so much today; we're studying ancient Chinese Dynasties... and we learned about a guy who made lakes of alcohol and hung meat from tree's; a prime minister who covered the smell of his decaying emperor with rancid fish; a thousand terra-cotta warriors and rivers full of mercury. The most disturbing part was Lady Dai...

"Two Thousand years later and her skin is still soft..." said the movie guy suggestively. I didn't think this was possible so I looked it up, and the realities far more gruesome...

September 06, 2005

The Kinslaying of Aqualonde

This is a great painting by Nasmith of The Kinslaying at Aqualonde. This is probably my favorite painting by him, and I chose it when we had to write a poem about a painting for English Class in 9th Grade. Here is my poem :)

Dreamlike Fury,
The stench of blood,
The calm of the water,
And the dead floating there.

Rushing Steel,
The solemn tide,
The lamp lights untroubled,
And the red stains below.

Silver Strings,
The dark sky,
The silver-white swan ships,
And the death they will bring.

The battle in all it's rage,
With clash of sword and twang of bow,
Carries a ways across the water,
Before the echoes fade.

The lords in all their fury,
Make history in eyes of men,
Yet can set no ripple,
In the calm of the night.

Fixation Ending Slowly

Three pictures of peace to round out the batch...

Water is a thing that must Flow

September 05, 2005


Banjo Kazooie

I loved Banjo Kazooie... though I don't remember the graphics being quite this good! :P


Look at these nearly effortless peices of beauty... I love this program. Everyone should get Terragen... Just slap some terrain about, add grass and flowers; adjust the camera and lighting, and get snapping... beautiful stuff. Absolutely beautiful.

A Matter of Trust

This is the cover of A Seperate Peace by John Knowles, which we are reading in English this year. Notice the ghostly people on the tree. An interesting book. It compares The Fall of Man with each youth's journey through adolescence and into the harsh realities of adulthood. So much love Naivete.

I don't know whether it's this book or what happened on I Need Hosting that set these feelings off, but I feel like I've been losing some of my naivete lately. It's a matter of trust. The more I want to trust, lately, the harder it is.

I've even been having trouble with some of those people I call friends lately. It makes me want to cling closer to those I truly trust and care about. I hate growing up.

September 04, 2005

Daily Angst

I hate being angsty, but it happens sometimes I suppose.

I was thinking the other day about how I'm fairly optomistic, and I can't imagine why people would waste so much of their lives worrying and complaining. But, with all the blessings I have, how can I not be happy? I can't even begin to understand the lives of people who have been deformed from birth, or live in a nation ravaged by war and genocide, or have had their whole lives uprooted by a natural disaster. And then I almost feel guilty sitting there and thinking about it. It's hard to get your mind around. Then the big questions come up, and I just want them to go away ;_;.

Manga Collection

My Manga collection is growing more impressive. ^^ In fact, I need to find a new series to collect!

Chobits - 8 (Complete)
Planet Ladder - 7 (Complete)
Fruits Basket - 11 (Up to Present)
Ranma - 8

Yay and Such. 34 in Total.

School Starting

My Schedual:

Honors Biology 1 and 2
Latin 4
German 1
Honors World History
Spanish 3
Honors English 2
Algebra 2 / Triganometry

Once again I find myself in Honors Science without the Honors Math... always a challenge. My goal for this year is to get:

Honors Biology 1 and 2 --- B
Latin 4 --- H
German 1 --- A
Honors World History --- H
Spanish 3 --- A
Honors English 2 --- A
Algebra 2 / Triganometry --- B

I think these are reasonable goals, too. ^^ I'm very excited about my history class. World History pwns Modern American History. Even with Mr. McCarthy. Who's now Principle. Gah. Why must life be so strange? :P

I suppose it's fairly obvious I failed at finding Ben. I tried, I really did. ;_; But theres only so far you can get with a first name, an age, and an ip address.

The Other INC

The other I Naur Celedril, my rpg, has been unceremoniously deleted without a care or even a notice. This makes me rather angry. I also hosted all my photos on it, so it will take me a while to relocate them all. But, theres nothing I can do. Its time to swallow my overlarge pride and move to Ezwhore, I suppose.

August 19, 2005


“Still taking Latin and Spanish?” Charles asked. He was taller than last year, and his voice was deeper too, but the slithering, creepy way he came up to you and started conversations remained. I turned to him triumphantly.

“German, too.” I grinned, placing the new Komm Mit book on the table beside Ven Conmigo and The Cambridge Latin Course. They all had matching green covers I had decorated myself. 100% Sharpie. With anyone else, I’d be more subtle. This was Charles. This was war. He wasn’t impressed.

“You’re just jealous of me for being in Spanish 4.”

“Yeah right. I’m in Latin 4, and unlike you, I had to do both year’s work.” I retorted instantly, starting a bit of a debate on who had it harder. I was just glad he took the bait… despite my words, it did hurt that he had skipped a year, and he probably knew it. Or maybe not – despite his brains, he was incredibly inept at social mechanics.

But no… I still surpassed him in Language, but he shouldn’t have been shining at all. Language was my area… mine. We used to compete over everything; Who could make the best maze, who could eat the most Old Country, who could beat the Pokemon game the fastest, who scored highest on the vocab test. When we went into middle school, we split, to a degree. He took math, and I took language. It was the only way we could keep from ripping each other apart – and half the school in the process. For a while things had been calm, but here he was again.

Here he was again. They say opposites attract, but I don’t see idiots sticking to me like flies. Only Charles – in my life, again and again. Even our due dates were the same, March 9th. There’s a bond in such things that years and rivalry can’t even touch.

Brian the Chef

We sat in silence. I was reading, he was cooking something or other, probably something he learned from Emeril. I closed the book at last, having had enough Irish fiction for one day. Despite his intelligence, Brian had never been a reader, never understood the fascination books held for so many. He read the paper; that was about it.

“Theyre printing books different lately. The pages are thinner.” I reflected, half to myself. I didn’t expect Brian to answer, and sure enough, he kept his eyes on the stove. I picked up my bowl and carried it over to the trash can. Whatever he was making smelled edible, but plain old ezmac was good enough for me, as always. More for the rest of them.

“Does this look like half and half to you? Vegetables and Pasta?” He looked up at me at last, displaying two pans filled with their respective food groups. I nodded, hardly looking at them – they were in vastly different containers, like the types you use to give optical illusions. If he couldn’t tell, how should I? He seemed pleased enough.

“I am such a good cook.”

“Humble, too”

“Toot toot my own horn. Your mother would be proud.”

“Salmon, too?” I said, eyeing the fish soaking in a dark, strong smelling substance. I did have a weakness for fish.


“That’s nearer the mark.”

Edit: That's the name of that cartoon guy, too! Hah. He's also my cousin.

August 18, 2005

The Newspaper

“This today’s paper?” She asked. She prodded the front page with a finger as short as mine. But she was getting to be blind as a bat, she could barely read the headline from there, much less the date. My sister nodded and made some affirmative noise as she poured herself another bowl of cereal. “You brought it in?”

“No. Miranda.” Melissa replied, distanced and bored. Mother looked my way. She was still in her bathrobe, had crawled down the stairs in a vain attempt at seeing her daughters off on their first day, but found herself unable to go through with it. She surveyed my head briefly, almost in appreciation. Almost.

“Well, I’m going back to bed.” She said. That was the end of that. She turned to leave.

“Your welcome” I said, hardly audibly.

“You expect me to say thank you?” She turned with a snarl in her voice. “You’re not getting it. You expect too damn much.”

“A thank you for fetching the paper is hardly demanding.” I was getting angry now.

“Well, look how its all over the table and messed up! I didn’t even want you to get it.” She turned and left, well aware that she’d lose the argument if she stayed. The anger was directionless. It hovered a moment in midair and then faded. Hurt replaced it.

“That Bitch.” I said, using hard words to try to stay mad. Mad was better than breaking down crying; it was my first day after all. Melissa might have been silent. She might have grunted. She never looked up from her cereal. I looked away from her. Mom never picked on her. Not like this. Probably got sick enough of badgering her over her room, her laundry, her clothes without adding this new imaginary crap to the mix.

August 10, 2005

Morphic Resonance

“I try to be open-minded.” She told me. “After all, you can’t see with closed eyes, how can you learn with a closed mind?” Mrs. Burroughs, I thought, You’re so open-minded you’re brains are practically falling out. I let her continue.

“Have you ever heard of Morphic Resonance?” I shook my head. “You might want to use it in your writing sometime. Morphic Resonance.” She repeated it, louder and more definitively. “It’s kind of a collective conscious thing… like if you teach a group of chickens something, it will be easier for another group of chickens to learn it, across the world.”

“You know me. Normally I wouldn’t think about something like that, I’d think it was silly. But I saw the things they were doing in Christ Church. Made you think.” No time for me to respond. She rushed on. “And there was another woman I met, on the meadow behind it. She used to teach economics, you know. Before they were all about how to get rich, when they were about cultures, and people. She quit when they changed like that, and has been looking at trees ever since. She knows all about them; the stages of their life, their shapes, their colours. She tells me they each have a different personality. We look at a tree and see the leaves, she sees the branches underneath.”

“I wouldn’t tell just anyone this, Miranda. I know you would appreciate it. She really sees the world a different way.”

You see the world a different way,” I insisted lightly. She smiled at that.

“We all do.”

June 24, 2005

Green Journal 1

(Starts with a list of all my charectors at that time)

Lyanna stared into the falling snow, letting her thoughts drift with them. At least this was a gentle snow; each flake light and beautiful on its life’s journey to earth. Last monthe Winterfell had been plagued with blizzards , so she knew she should be grateful, but still...

Still, the snow fell, laying a fresh gleaming coat on the surface of the earth, adding to the deep drifts that never fully melted. Perhaps the snow at the base, long since turned to ice, had been there since winter started, still frozen from that first snow. Or perhaps that snow had melted like a brief spring, only to be replaced by the next fresh fall. She didn’t know; such things were the knowledge of the maesters, not Lyanna Stark.

The last few days had seemed as long as the as the wide earth before her, blanketed in a cool grey snow. A field had lain there, once, hadn’t it? The field with the little blue flowers, perhaps. It was hard to remember. The details of her childhood had faded into shades of grey, leaving only a blurred memory of the feeling of summer.


Her skin was still pink, scrubbed half-raw from her scalding hot bath that morning. She felt fresh, and clean in the cool wind beneath the hard white sun. The dew in the grass had gone as cold as tiny crystals of ice, but as she saw her father coming back to the castle she ran through it happily, relishing the feel of the lush green blades on her bare white feet.

She embraced the Lord Starks leg as she reached him, and he laughed and took her in his arms. Glancing at her bare feet, wet with the freezing dew, he smiled and shook his head, teasing her.

"Put on your sandals, Lya." He said. She obediently dropped them to the ground and struggled to get them onto her untamed feet, but not without a pout.

"I hate wearing shoes." His face turned a little sad as he thought into the future, into the winter that could not be far away.

"Best get used to it, child. This is Winterfell, and it will not be summer forever. The day will soon come that you will need to wear more than these sandals."

That day had come... she was still young when it came, still hopeful that it would pass as swiftly as one of their summer snows. But the winter had come. And the winter remained.

(The rest of the notebook is more or less school stuff; Latin and Spanish notes, and attempts at the Hirigana.)

Purple Journal 1

(These are in no particular order, but usually the stuff within a journal is from the relatively same time period.)

Chran lisa tasare ilnava ren.
Tambave galesan amarei olnava ren.
Ave Kyrie.

Are Stamuna til nellavore
Sanareve fanan.

(I don't ask. Neither should you)

Meiou, Meu, Elan

(There are sometimes random names scattered throughout)

Aleu, Amara, Ashe, Arien, Aya, Aerill

The rain is alive - it moves and it breathes, it strengthens and weakens. You can see it in the lake moving in wonderous waves as if in racing.
A girl about Melissa's age, running with her own personal beaver stick, her shirt is either tie-dyed or soaked - I can't tell which. Her jeans, light and splattered by the rain. Leaning on her stick, she stares at the sea and sky for the wonder it is due.
Half of me want's to run and dance in the rain like Christy, feet in the mud and arms outstretched. But the other half of me is perfectly content to sit here in the fragile shelter and watch it from afar.
A rainstorm is something you can never hope to capture. But writing, and music together may help me to remember it. There are some things in life that there are no subsitutes for. Cao standing beside me, pants rolled up sloppily, one higher than the other; and to no effect, both were thouroughly soaked.
The sopping pink shirt says "Flavor of the Week", and as I stare into her rain soaked, exhilerated face, the name fits so well.
The music changes - violins. The rain begins to slow but...
Christy comes up and informs me with that straight face that makes everything she says that much funnier;
"Ok, my shorts are dry, but my shirts soaking wet." Turning to me as if I am expected to come up with a divine explanation.
There's this artist wandering around with a charcoal sketchpad. I tried to make small talk, but I don't think she gets it. We are both trying to capture the rainstorm.

There have been moments of bright inspiration, but something here is missing. It's not quite the same. The leaves have fallen from our Gryph-Bush.

Christy's sleeping bag is very creative - a cracker jacks bag with the classic "Suprise Toy Inside."

"Ellie! I'm trying to sleep! Don't hit me with pillows!"
"I Didn't."
"Then who did?"
"No one. It wasn't a pillow."

I was on the long bus. And I think it was my fault. Because I was sitting there all content, about an hour into it, and I was happy because I had my friends there and was listening to music and I thought to myself that if the bus ride went on forever, I would be happy.
And then it did. And I wasn't happy. I think sometimes we all feel like we want to stay somewhere, hold a moment in your heart forever. But you can't.

(That is a short excerpt from one of my Talking Stick speeches. I rather forgot the rest, but it was about how our experiance at the Blue Mountain Camp can't last forever, but our journey with god can, and should.)

(Here this journal ends... but I think it ties in very closely with another one, because I'm pretty sure I have notes from the same trip there.)

A torrent of dust....

Nowadays I get by with my blog, my aim logs, and a handful of word documents on my Palm, but there was a time in the distant past where I kept journals. And these journals, which I purchased for 7 cents a peice, no joke, are now disentegrating into dust. So, I am putting anything even semi-notable from them here.

This stuff starts the summer of Sixth Grade, and continues halfway through 8th grade, so it's not the best stuff I've ever written. Still, waste not want not, and there are some good on-site descriptions of rain and sunset etc.

June 22, 2005

A Return to Borders

Oxford Essential Guide to Writing
Writers Complete Fantasy Reference
Ranma 1/2 Volume 5
Planet Ladder Volumes 3 and 4.

So happy is Ellie. But Checkout lady looked at me funny for buying Ranma and Grammar Books.

Old and New

Old and New - I didn't take this one myself.

Cool Tree

And this is the same tree with the color temperature set cooler.

Warm Tree

This is the same tree with the color temperature set warmer.

Pretty Tree

This is a very pretty tree in my neighborhood, blooms breifly every year with white/pink flowers. Its also pretty when the petals are falling, but harder to catch on film.

June 16, 2005

The Foxfire Book

The Foxfire Book is amazing. I recommend it to anyone.

In the late 1960s, Eliot Wigginton and his students created the magazine Foxfire in an effort to record and preserve the traditional folk culture of the Southern Appalachians. This is the original book compilation of Foxfire material which introduces Aunt Arie and her contemporaries and includes log cabin building, hog dressing, snake lore, mountain crafts and food, and "other affairs of plain living." - Amazon

About Coachwhip Snakes:
Theyre like a black snake, and the end of their tail looks just 'zactly like th' end of a whip plaited. They say they can get around a cow's leg and just run her t'death a'wuppin' her with th'end of their tail. I saw one. It looks just 'zactly like it was plaited on there. They're a flat land snake. Now these snakes ain't poison, but now they'll hurt y'just th'same as anything else bitin; blood out of y'will.

Some Common Cures:
Buttermilk and Lemon Juice mized together and put on freckles will remove them.
Take a small peice of lead and bore a hole in it. Put a string through the hole and wear it around your neck. Your nose wont bleed again.
Sore throat: Take a sock you have worn inside a boot and worked in for almost a week so that it has a bad odor. Tie around your neck.
Don't ever burn the cloth bandage from a sore; you must bury it for the sore to heal.
If you get punctured by a nail: Draw out the nail with a hammer, grease the nail and put it away somewhere to prevent lockjaw.

And To Forever Heal My Athsma:
Get a Chihuahua, or suck salty water up my nose, swallow spider webs rolled up in a ball, smoke strong tobacco until I choke, or, If I drill a hole in a black oak just above my head, and put a lock of my hair in the hole, when I pass that spot in height, I will be cured, but if I die, so will the tree.

June 14, 2005


I'm determined to find out what happened to Ben if it takes me all summer, but I seem to keep hitting dead ends. We're pretty sure that Ben was 14, a Freshman in High School, and lived near Milford Connecticut. He vanished in November of 2004. If you know anything about a death or tragic accident involving someone who fits this description, please email me at

June 13, 2005

A distinctly droll Pun

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him .... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

June 12, 2005


I've done alot for my 15 years, and I have to say that in all the world there is nothing so wonderous as learning. Now, to qualify all learning on this higher level of marvel is inaccurate; that is like saying sleep is best while falling to eternal sleep in the far north (although according to The Master Backwoodsman this is an old wives tale), or saying that wildlife in its splendour is joy while being devoured by a hyena. But there is nothing like picking up a book and just ingesting it. There are so many good books. Nonfiction is brilliant. Fiction is brilliant too. Nonfiction is amazing because its true, and the truth can be just as spectacular as what was invented. Reference books are tasty too. The Dictionary is a personal favourite.