A Rough Spot

We're settling in and I'm starting to feel like I know everyone. In some ways, the euphoria has passed. Laura says, "Now we feel like we have the right to get pissed at each other".

There is certainly more conflict. And the lines that were drawn in sand before are beginning to fossilize. The first roommate spats have happened. The first near fight has near-broken out. We still, by all accounts, have the best community feeling on campus, but it's starting to feel worn. I think we'll settle into this too, though.

But it hurts me, because I'd like to associate the passage of time with a stronger community feeling, deeper relationships... people don't seem as interested in making those. I don't think it's exclusively with me, either. Ethan said that he didn't care anymore about what other people did - after all, college is about finding yourself.

But I want to support, and be able to depend, to be trusted, to be able to trust... We're moving from all the fun of getting to know each other to the pains of cohabitation with little of the camaraderie that should mirror it.

But there are things I enjoy. Although we haven't advanced much emotionally, we all know more about each other now, so the conversations we have are a bit deeper. And by the same token, we're less likely to stumble in forgetting who is a republican or a democrat or gay or a drunkie or a christian or a jew. (Spell check tells me Jew should be capitalized and Christian shouldn't. Um?)

And I'm getting more involved with various things, and it looks like I have a possibility at a wisp of a job (and a very appropriate one) for next year.

And cooking... I really enjoy that so far. ^^ Even the long bus rides and the crappy kitchen... I'm taking a perverse kind of pride and enjoyment in living in the most distant and rundown dorm, without a car. Jorge brings his wooden spoon and we cook random things to stave off death by Dobbs. I've stuffed the kitchen freezer with frozen pizzas for when I lack the time to cook something more elaborate, and even my spice collection is slowly and steadily growing.

And now Jorge is moving into Laws! :D And the Renaissance Festival is this weekend! And I happen to have a 96% or better in all of my classes. So things are going to be okay... ^^ Maybe this is just a rough spot...