The First Breath of Winter

Today it was cold - really cold - for the first time. It was in the twenties and officially lower than both Trondheim and Turku, as it often is on colder days here. Spanish class was cancelled and we were just going to watch a movie I'd already seen in Anthro, so I slept in until around 11, showered and dressed leisurely, then sat down, started assembling my Basque research, and wrote an introduction. I didn't eat at Dobbs at all today and when we all left for Anthropology at 2:30 I realized it was my first time outside all day. I was shocked by how cold it was but it was only skin-cold and it didn't feel so bad when the sun was shining and we were all chatting and moving with purpose.

In the evening Jorge had a photo assignment and I went with him. To be honest I felt as if I needed to go. It didn't make any sense, but I just didn't want to send him alone to walk all the way across campus at night and in this weather... I went with just a sweatshirt over a shortsleeve shirt, and Jorge went with gloves and scarf and jacket. I laughed a bit at him, but I was intensely conscious of the space between my shrinking pants and my socks, and on the way back I folded my hands around the edges of my extra long sleeves to keep the warm air inside.

It seemed very dark and cold. The last leaves hanging on the trees caught the light of the huge lamps on Stankowski field, and they've never seemed so harsh or unnatural. The walk there was one thing but the walk back lasted forever. We were both tired and a bit cranky.

I need a winter coat. Mom just wrote me giving me permission to buy one - if I can get to the mall sometime this week I'll do just that. I'm okay until about 20 degrees without one, but I have to get creative (semi thick long sleeve shirt, covered by one of my sweaters, covered by a sweatshirt) and I don't have enough clothes to wear a ton of layers every day. :P

I think I'm joining a Bible Study of sorts. It's small, student run, and seems low-key and open-minded. In other words, the only sort of Bible Study I would even consider joining. They had free food today and David invited me so I went along with Linh (not a surprise) and Phil (not a surprise) and Johannes (??) and Tom and Jorge too, because they were randomly there. The two girls who run it seem nice, and they said they'd come back on Wednesday evenings and we could maybe have a food sharing schedule or something. :D

I've translated my Basque introduction into Spanish. If I can write two or three more paragraphs in Spanish, I think I'll have enough for Wednesday. I also have to rehearse my article and somehow drop off the extra copies tomorrow. I tried to set up another academic advising appointment at the international studies office but no reply yet.

I also got a call from the Big Brothers Big Sisters people asking me for days of the week and times that I'm available. I was confused about the number they left and finally called right as the common room got really loud, and I was sandwiched between a few different people on the couch and couldn't leave easily. They tried to quiet down, but anyway I hadn't prepared a list of dates and times, so I left a less than stellar phone message. If they haven't replied by tomorrow I might try again, actually, because I think I gave them some times that would be very difficult for me, whereas Thursdays and Fridays are quite easy compared to trying to walk to Lee in between classes. Oh well, we'll see. :P

I'm excited to get started with that. :D I need to be doing something like that... something not completely selfish, that I can pour part of myself into. And I do miss the children! :D I've always had so many children in my life, that it's strange to suddenly be so removed from them.

My family is coming up this weekend and Melissa is performing with the colour guard, so I'll get to see her do that for one of the first times. They're bringing Tidbit, if I remember correctly. :D And Grandma too. She wants to see my dorm, which means I'll have to clean it. Well. :S

What else?

I feel taller. No, that's not quite the right word. But straighter, perhaps? I feel as though I can walk with more confidence. The shape of my body feels more natural. I hate the feeling that my confidence hangs on something external, but it's just been so long...