Family's Move

I just feel like things are about to get really hard for me, and even though I understand the reasons for it I still feel... I don't know the word for it, just that - I came to Mizzou mostly for my mom's sake, so that it would be close. She lured me in by promising that we could go to the lake easily, etc... And now, if they leave, I'm here alone, without a car, with all my stuff in a lonely damp storage bay in Camdenton. The whole spirit and life and homeliness of Missouri will be gone, leaving me with... ???

It doesn't help that she's cancelled the cruise, either. Especially not when Christmas was lighter in preparation for it, and we cancelled or went without two or three vacations in preparation for it... and honestly, it would be easier for me if it was an economy thing, but instead I just feel like...

Why now?

All predictions seem to be that Florida will stay down for a while. If they waited one more year, Mel would finish high school here, I would be studying abroad and would never be in the awkward situation of being here without a car, we could afford the cruise, the uncertainty with my Dad's income would be mostly dissipated, etc, etc.

I know we'll make it work as it is, but it's just a lot to digest, all at once.

And I know a lot of people live away from their families for college, I know that, but there are two things they have that I don't:

1.) That sense of adventure and newfound independence, the change of scenery, the whole feeling of going away to college.

2.) Their family's home is still their home, they still have their bedroom with all of their things in it...