May 13, 2010

More about Andorra

"Here I found a nice animal shed for Hannibal, but if he got no better accomodation there than I did at the inn next door, it must have gone hard with him."

"There, on the hillside, was Andorra City, climbing slightly above the verdant floor of this sunlit garden, the most pathetic, the most miserable capital city of any nation in the world."

- Hannibal Invades Andorra, The Royal Road to Romance

“France and Spain were not letting any cigarettes in, he said, and now that smuggling was out of the question, all of Andorra's tobacco had to be consumed domestically. To be sure, Mr. Gresa continued, a number of shady characters came to his factory every week and bought two or three hundred cartons, but, in the absence of any evidence to the contrary, he had to presume that they smoked them. I asked Mr. Gresa how much tobacco had been grown in Andorra that year; he said it was nine hundred metric tons, and I computed that everybody in the country would be smoking eighteen cigarettes at a time morning, afternoon, and night if this were consumed domestically. Mr. Gresa allowed that the rate didn't appear to be anywhere near so high, and, confronted with this evidence, said it wasn't unthinkable that some of the tobacco crop manages to find it's way to foreign markets.”

“Andorra's foreign affairs are run by France, its churches are run by Spain, its law courts are run by France and/or Spain. There are French, Spanish, and Andorrano police, and when the French and Spanish police can't agree, the Andorrano police are in a pickle. There aren't any Andorran schools; all of them are French or Spanish, the former teaching in French instead of Catalan, and the latter teaching in Spanish instead of Catalan, and, since there aren't any Andorran textbooks, either, the children at the former are taught their fatherland is France, while the children at the latter are taught: “My fatherland is Spain. As good Spaniards, we ought to respect, love, and be ready to defend our fatherland. Oh Spain! I love you as a beloved mother. My glorious country! Ever and everywhere may your name be praised.” And several pages further: “As good Spaniards, we ought to love our Leader. ¡Viva Franco! ¡Arriba España!”

- Andorra, Report from Practically Nowhere

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