Training Update

Wednesday was the worst day of training for me. I felt discouraged, tired, almost fell asleep in some of the meetings. Today, however, I knew as soon as I woke up that I was on the upswing again. I had more energy, more optimism. We're starting to get tiny increments of 'free time' that we can use to put up bulletin boards, etc. So, I actually see work getting done, and I feel like things are possible. Our schedules are starting to come together, with our floor meetings, staff meetings, and on-call times accounted for. I've unpacked a slight majority of my things, and all the chaos left fits under my bed, leaving me with a pretty nice living environment. Tomorrow I have managed to find time and friends to travel to my storage bay and get a few things I forgot, and then we're going to Wal Mart where I will buy a few new things I've decided I need (stapler, paper organizer), as well as things I used up at the end of last year, like laundry detergent.

We are learning a lot, but I think part of the craziness of training is probably to prepare us for how crazy it might be during the most stressful parts of the year, and make us grateful for the freetime we have in the less stressful parts. By now I have pretty much given up on having personal time - my brain is sort of in crisis mode. I just now found myself with 45 minutes before the next event, and at first I felt lost, directionless. I'm using the time to write this blog post, clean my rice cooker, and shower. When I click on the start button and see things I do when I'm bored (like Stumble, Storybook Creator (Scrapbooking), and Rosetta Stone), it has almost no reaction on me. Not "I wish I had time for it". Just a very deep acceptance that I don't. Not right now.