Alligator Man

Melissa and I took a walk, making all lefts so that we came to the sea wall across the bay from our own house. When the tide is high it's fun to walk along the concrete edge, seeing the water lap against the side and, here and there, where the old wall is beginning to crumble, swirl into the land and fill tiny rushing pools.

Melissa won't stop talking about Alligator Man. Debbie has told her that there is a man with a pet alligator in the neighborhood - he lives in the tall grey house, she said, with an alligator mailbox. It was a bit further than Tidbit and I usually walked, but we agreed to help her investigate. So it was a left at the end of the seawall, and then a long street, and then left again into a little cul-de-sac.

The tall grey house had no Alligator mailbox. Or so we thought at first - a second glance revealed that it was green, with a slight attempt at scaly texturing, and when seen from straight on, the unmistakable tail of a gator on the back of it. It was like finding a giant red X on the ground. We looked at each other, and then slowly at the house, as if we would hear the Alligator roar and gnash it's teeth from the side of the road.

Rediculous, of course. But there was an enclosure there, where someone else might have a screen porch. It didn't look big enough for a gator, or strong enough to hold one. But then again, there was the mailbox to consider, and why would Debbie lie to us? We didn't want to be creepers, so we walked on.

"After all," I said. "Just because there is an alligator on the mailbox and an enclosure in the front yard doesn't mean he has an alligator. After all, here's a mailbox with a giant seahorse on it, does that mean they have a giant seahorse in their front yard?"

We turned and looked at this house, in a mockery of searching for a giant seahorse. And I kid you not - they had a giant aquarium in the side of their house, just visible from the road. This was all getting to be a bit too weird. We circled the cul-de-sac in mock hysterics, Mel screaming, "Look here, palm trees on the mail box... and palm trees in the yard!!"

We came back around to Alligator Man's house. Still no gators, but there was a very large grey dog there, who was free and roaming around a bit too much for our liking. We had Tidbit to think of, after all. I picked her up and I think she knew better than to make any noises. We tried to make our retreat as quickly and quietly as possible. We were almost to the corner when a man on a large and loud motorcycle came around and towards us. Moving out of the way we saw him stop at Alligator Man's house and talk to the dog.

We thought we were saved. And then we heard the man calling the dog, and revving up his motorcycle again.

"He's going to run with the dog!"

"No, surely not!"

But just the same, we were on a narrow street with no sidewalks and no public areas, just the long (and lengthening) avenue of houses before the right turn back to the seawall and safety. We heard the motorcycle behind us, the man calling the dog again. We ran.

Melissa was in flip flops and I in sandles, and carrying 16 pounds of Dachshund besides. We were halfway there when the man on the motorcycle turned the corner. I was still thinking to myself, 'surely not'. Melissa, who without Tidbit had a bit more mobility, risked a quick look back.

"The dog is following!" she confirmed. We ran as though the man was leading a team of gators on our tails. The motorcycle grew louder and louder in our ears, deafening. We reached the seawall with seconds to spare, through ourselves to the right and onto the public grass, and the motorcycle raced by, the grey dog running alongside it at top speed.

I was a bit high on Rosetta Stone, and Japanese words came tumbling out of my mouth at that.

"Inu wa hashitte imasu," I whispered.

Breathing hard, we watched in amazement as the two sped to the end of the seawall, then rushed back at us, and again. We clung to the concrete edge by the sea once more, working our way back home.

I do believe that was Alligator Man. And I do believe that he is capable of owning an Alligator.

Tidbit and I won't be going past the seawall for a while.