Music and Trees

Everythings so pointless and vaguely depressing. I know everything will get better, but I can't help but feeling... Like maybe it won't. Maybe it's a human disease. How can I explain it?

It's like Music, right? We like Music, but do we like it every day, every minute, as we seem to? Or is it just that we can't find silence, and so we figure we might as well cover their noise with noise of our own choosing? Sometimes, you know, I crave the silence and the quiet, but there are always sirens and car horns and 141 and the horrid Saint Louis Cicada's, saying, it seems, "Hey-a, Hey-a... Why-a, Why-a..." from dinnertime to midnight.

And then theres trees. They're as beautiful as they always were, but they just... depress me. This tree has too few leaves, this one too few branches, this one has that awful disease with the tumours spread out on its twigs, this one is just perfect, just familiar, but someday it will change, this one is tall and beautiful and I can't even comprehend it.

I want to change my life so completely that it doesn't even occur to me to look back and cry for what was good and what was bad, both. I'm so tired of remembering.