Rice Cooker Clam Chowder

I needed comfort food today. (Allergies do that. :P) So I made some clam chowder. In my rice cooker, naturally. I started with an ordinary can of the stuff... I think it was Whole Foods brand but it didn't look very different than any other ready to eat kind when it came out of the can. I added a can of clams, partially drained, that I had lying around. I wanted to add some milk, but I didn't have any, so I added about half a cup of cream and almost a cup of water. It is /very/ rich but /very/ delicious. Then I added just a bit of oregano, as well as a clove of garlic that I chopped up real quick. I didn't get as much of the garlic on my hands as usual, yay! I'd never put garlic in clam chowder and I was afraid to because I have a bit of an addiction to garlic and sometimes even put it where it doesn't belong, but oh my, it made a huge and positive difference here. It's interesting for me, because I normally improvise with Asian-flavour foods which have a lot of spices, etc, and you can easily add 2 or 3 cloves of garlic and barely notice it. Here I added one and the warmth of garlic suffuses the whole soup, because there aren't any other strong flavours for it to compete with. This is probably the best clam chowder I've had outside of a fancy seafood restaurant. I'm actually going to write down the approximate ingredients:

- 1 Can Clam Chowder
- 1 Can of Clams (drain partially, leave only about 1/4 cup of clam juice)
- 1/2 cup Heavy Whipping Cream
- 3/4 cup Water
- Sprinkle of Oregano (to taste)
- 1 clove of Garlic

P.S.) I like my clam chowder thing. If you like it thicker, add less water, more potatoes, and even some flour.

Finals Week Update

Allergies are getting worse, not better. The last week has been almost unbearable, and if things don't break soon, I don't know what I'm going to do. Nights are the worst - I can't just sleep through it, I wake up coughing and sneezing, too cold or too hot, and feeling like shit. And it makes it worse that I have a roommate, because, despite her insistence that it never wakes her up, I know I'm coughing really loudly and obnoxiously and a lot of times when it gets too bad I go to the bathroom to do it.

Anyway. This morning the plan was to take the German final, then work all day on my Spanish essay. I woke up on time and went to the German classroom only to see it full of strangers. I was really freaked out and thought that I had somehow missed the exam. Then I couldn't remember what day it was... Tuesdays are hard for me to remember because Mondays are so long, you know? Anyhow, I found out that ALL my exams are actually Wednesday! I thought two of them were Tuesday, haven't the faintest idea why. They were all in my calendar correctly. None of them conflict, luckily.

I started walking back and sat by the fountain for three or four minutes. The sound and coolness was nice. I woke up cold and had worn a long sleeve shirt and a jacket, but suddenly it was unbearably hot. I thought to myself that at least now I was woken up, I'd just pretend for my pride that that's why I had gone out, and I could start my Spanish essay. But I came back and spent an hour or so reading blogs before settling down to begin.

I don't feel like I'm getting that deep into the topic, but I feel like it's kind of difficult to. The topic is to explain the quote, "(something like) stories are fiction, but they reflect the truth.", using stories we have read in class. So far I've been going through and scanning the author bios for some idea about what's important to them, then talk about what problem, idea, or emotion (most common) they are trying to express with the invented elements of their story. I hope this is the right idea, but since there are many stories it feels kind of shallow... I dunno.

Exit Strategy

For a week that was supposed to be empty and easy, I'm finding that I have a surprisingly large number of things to do, divided into four categories: Finals, Next Year Job, Japan Preparations, and Packing.

Today I Planned To Do:
- Begin packing.
- Talk to Laura, figure out when we're doing what for Japan.
- Get about halfway through my Spanish essay.
- Study a bit for German final tomorrow.

Well, I got /a lot/ more packing done than I expected or planned on. I'm about half done with that. The room still looks like a mess but it's not nearly the dense mess that it was. I did all my laundry and dishes, packed 1 huge box and 7 medium boxes (which I got free from Dobbs), and damn near emptied my closet. Laura and I made a run to my storage bay and dropped off the sleeping bags she still had from our trip to the lake, as well as the big box of clothes, a couple other boxes of bags and such, and a lot of cookware - my frying pan, my pot, my strainer, my truly horrifyingly enormous metal pot, my crockpot, my cutting board and all my cookbooks. Almost all of my books are packed now, as are all of my movies. I reckon I only have an hour or two more of work which I can actually do before Friday, since I still have to sleep, eat, and clothe myself here until then.

It's all very complicated because I essentially have six categories to sort things into:

1.) Things that are going to my storage bay for a pretty long time.
2.) Things that are going to my storage bay and returning to campus with me next year.
3.) Things that are going to my lake house for a pretty long time.
4.) Things that are going to my lake house and returning to campus with me next year.
5.) Things that are going to Florida for a pretty long time.
6.) Things that are going to Florida and returning to campus with me next year.

The main deciding factors are...

A.) Do I need it this summer?
Yes? ---- Florida
No? ---- Read On
B.) Will it die if left in extreme heat?
Yes? ---- Lake House
No? ---- Storage Bay

Keep in mind that 'this summer' includes Japan, and you've got a recipe for a major headache. Basically though, I am assuming that I don't need my cooking or dorm room living stuff this summer or in Japan, and not worrying about it. This leaves books, of which I'll want a few in Florida (can't take too many, though), and one or two in Japan, and clothes, of course, which are needed everywhere. I'm trying to sort clothes now, and I'm leaving some of the other stuff until the lake this weekend. For example, all of my books are going to the lake, but I'll take out the ones I want at that point, when I unpack them. There are also things I'll want to pack for Japan that would be a major to think up right now, because I'm already dealing with 100 different things. Mostly, though, these aren't expensive or a big deal, so I'll probably survive even if I have to buy new ones. (Passport holder, etc) I need to NOT forget to pack a good bag, though, in addition to my suitcase, for day trips. Probably my Marimekko bag.

I also have Japan almost wrapped up. All I need now is to buy my rail pass and probably a rentaphone for when I'm over there. Laura and I have talked about the itinerary and different options pretty extensively and we're on the same page for almost everything, which is great. I think we'll travel well together.

For Tomorrow: Take German final. Write Spanish essay.

That's it. Seriously. I need to get the Spanish essay done by a reasonable hour, and I neglected it today.

For Wednesday: Spanish final, Statistics Final, Racquetball in the evening with Ju.

For Thursday: Maybe a bit more packing if I'm bored. Otherwise, just sitting around. Most of my friends are gone. That's okay, though, I can always read/otherwise entertain myself. Also I have to make and send in my syllabus, but that's the work of an hour, two at the most. I also need to see Ben about being the AMG secretary next year. I'll probably play Racquetball with Ju again.

For Friday: Make sure Mayumi wakes up for her flight. See her off. Depending on the time, go to Ju/Prite's graduation. Finish packing everything and clean off furniture/floor. Have Melissa and Dad help me put everything in the car. Leave.

At the Epicenter of Swine Flu

Okay, that's overly dramatic. But read on.

I didn't think I would end up blogging about Swine Flu, even though it seemed as though everyone else was, ranging from those who had a good reason (The Mexile, based in Mexico City) to those who just felt like they should, I guess (Life in the Faroes) XD.

But this morning, as soon as Mayumi and I woke up and started reading our emails and other such morning activities, Mayumi seemed alarmed and asked, "Miranda, is it true that a Chinese student from the University of Missouri has swine flu??"

I hadn't heard anything about that, so I googled it. The first reports of it came in only six hours before, so it wasn't strange that I hadn't, but it sent shivers down my spine just the same. Missouri hasn't had many cases, there haven't been any in my University, but here the second case of swine flu in China (and the first case was a Mexican) comes from here!

I don't think many people outside Missouri know that there are actually four Universities of Missouri, in the same system. (UMKC, UMSL, University of Missouri Columbia, and Rolla), so the newspapers just said "University of Missouri" and technically we weren't sure which one it was, although almost always, if they don't specify, it's us - we're the biggest. Later the University Newspaper confirmed this.

For someone who has many international friends and, in particular, several Chinese friends, it hit very close to home. Even though the man in question was a graduate student, it almost felt as though I should know him. My friend Anlan is going back to China at the end of this week and she was nervous about Swine flu, and being quarantined, before this. Now I wonder if China, whose anti-swine flu policy has been very strict, would go so far as to quarantine her just from coming from the infected university?

It's all very strange. I still haven't even heard of the friend of a friend of a friend having swine flu, although that may change as stories of this case spread.

Two Worlds

Quotes from Andrea Lewis' Facebook Note:

"A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday."

"Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for nineteen years."

This says a lot. I'd just like to add that the move to Florida is simultaneously making this easier and harder for me. Also that all of our friends went through the same thing, so there's that aspect of it. And it probably helps me that I've come back home from things that I felt had fundamentally altered my being only to find myself settling back into the old habits remarkably quickly, holding only traces of my 'life changing' experience. (But even a small change is a change.)

This whole situation, while true, is pretty darn universal and stereotypical and I don't know how much more I have to add to reflections on it. But there it is.

Friends that Leave

Prite and Ju are graduating this semester, which means that when I leave on Friday, the chances are overwhelming that I won't see them hardly at all afterwards. There is a microscopic chance that they'll get some sort of job in Columbia, or very close. They might also come and visit Columbia once in a blue moon. I only met them last fall, after Thanksgiving really, and it's strange to think that we've already made so many memories and that we're seperating on Friday.

A lot of people I've met this year are leaving, of course, since I lived in Pangaea. In another time, I might try to get the addresses of one or two of them, send them a Christmas card or something next year and then never really think of them again. The internet really had made things easier, though. Now I can keep in reasonable touch with whomever I like. And Facebook has REALLY changed things. There are many International Students I wouldn't even try to keep in touch with actively, but we'll remain lightly linked to each other's lives through Facebook, for better or for worse. I'll see random status updates and laugh at old memories. More than likely, I'll see their wedding pictures and the pictures of their children. And, of course, it keeps alive the possibility that if I'm ever stopping by their hometown we can go out and get coffee. It's nice.

But this is a secondary... no, tertiary type of relationship. The primary kind is ending. Now. Some of the International Students are leaving as early as Wednesday.

Of course, our time with anyone isn't infinite. And memories remain, and...

Take Fangbai. I went to her party last night with Ju and Prite. They are leaving but she isn't, and she's great, and we'll probably hang out next year.

Take Thailand. If I ever go there, and knowing me I very well might, I have two people who have promised to show me around. :)

There's no use, really, making calculations about the value of friendships. They are not carefully considered investments to be made. I've found that it's best to just spend time with good people - the rest will fall into place. ^^

But it's still sad. :(

False Forever

Even knowing that it's natural, this moving apart... not drifting but rushing, each of us pursuing our own dreams... even knowing that it's how it should be... the word 'never' catches in our throats.

We know it will never be as it was.

We know that coming together again, all of us, even just a few of us, becomes more and more difficult with each bend in each of our roads, and even if we manage it, it will be precious.

Precious. We'll count each minute like pearls on a necklace until they are all over.

Remembering that sense of infinity, endlessness, that we'd be together forever.

Remembering it, looking back, a shake of the head and a wistful smile and almost thinking,

"I didn't understand what it was. Wasteful."

But without that waste, we wouldn't have what we have, forged in false forever.

五十かんじ！ （５２ Kanji)

本田下上山川日国人語英一二三四五六七八九十男女子大小好時何月半百千万円高安学生先校私間毎来週今年火水木金土曜

I now know 52 Kanji. My goal is 200 by the time I go to Japan.

An original (and true) sentence in beautiful Kanji:

三週間日本にいます。

I will be in Japan for three weeks.

Japanese Flash Cards

Here's the thing about Flash Cards.

They well... have two sides.

And ideally, you want them to go both ways.

Normally this works well for languages. You can put "Hello" on one side and "Hola" on the other and when you've mastered remembering that Hola means Hello you can reverse it and see if you can produce Hola when presented with Hello.

But it's not always that easy. There are sometimes multiple translations, for example.

And sometimes it's even harder. Take Japanese.

I want to learn the phrase "This Week". Simple enough, right? Write "This Week" on one side, and "Konshuu" on the other? Sort of. But I want to learn the Kanji for "This Week" as well. (今週）

Maybe you can already see the problem. If I just put the Kanji, then how will I know if I have remembered the sound of the word properly? (And which is more important - can I put the card in the 'I know it' pile if I remember /just/ the Kanji or /just/ the sound? Or do I make four columns - 'know it completely' 'know the Kanji' 'know the sound' 'don't know it'?) Likewise, if I read from the Kanji side, I won't be able to test myself on the reading.

There's also the debate about whether I should write in Romaji or in Hiragana. I know Hiragana is better for me but I learn /so/ much faster in Romaji, and I'm on a schedule here. But this last question provides a reasonable solution.

I have decided to put the Kanji (large) on one side, and the English (large) on the other, and on each side, smallish and in the corner, the sound in Hiragana (こんしゅう）. I read the English alphabet so automatically that I wouldn't be able to test myself if it was written there, but I can avoid looking at the Hiragana, and I don't yet read it without thinking, so it essentially hides it from my view if I have any willpower at all. That way I can test myself Kanji - Meaning or Meaning - Kanji, and try to read the Kanji right, and if I have any doubt, I have the reading on both sides.

Trees and Storms

This is the most violent most beautiful time of year in Missouri. Late Spring brings the last of the sweet spring rains and the first of the tremendous summer thunderstorms, and everything is so painfully vibrant and green that it hurts. The trees are so thick with leaves and flowers and the fragrance wafts throughout campus and even covers most of the smell of fast food and exhaust. The trees provide shade, though it's not yet really needed - thick, moist, deep shade that turns tree lined pathways into near tunnels. Did you know that the University of Missouri Columbia is a registered botanical garden? You can tell this time of year. In Winter it's not so noticeable and last semester I was so overwhelmed by the newness of everything that I didn't see but now I'm absolutely astonished by the biodiversity.

We're in the middle of one of those storms now. Trees are whipping the air mercilessly, the street signs are shaking violently, and of course the rain is beating down incessantly and the wind is creating waves and tides and feels like it is shaking our building, making us rather glad to live in a giant hunk of concrete and making Ben come down to tell us to shut all the doors and windows and we might have to go to the basement. We hear hail. Water starts to come in sideways.

Then it is over.

I Pick the Sea

I've never had to deal with allergies and finals at the same time before, and it's miserable. Luckily I think the worst is over for the school year. I have one more essay to do tonight (German) and one due Wednesday (Spanish) and two low stress finals (German and Statistics) on Tuesday. That's it. Other than that I have just random tasks to do, like getting my external hard drive fixed, buying a new power cord, finalizing a few of the last details for Japan (I have two more hotels to book, and one hotel stay to extend, and I want to order my rail pass) and... erm... sleeping? Haha.

Oh yeah, and I have to move out, which is a daunting task. :) I'll probably get a good start Wednesday and finish up on Friday. My dad is coming in the evening with the car and boxes, and without the boxes I'm limited as to what I can actually pack, but I can organize things before then. There's a lot going on right now and I'm really looking forward to having some time to deal.

I'm long term and short term exhausted. Sick of allergies. Sick of feeling trapped and all that shit. I want to relax. There is the sea longing, for example...

I have an exceptional imagination. Today I took a different turn than normal from Journalism and found myself looking up a hill towards the main University. I was actually looking at part of the Business building but I didn't quite recognizing it, just seeing walls and trees behind. And what trees! I never, ever, ever have too many trees. Every kind in every season amazes me. I don't know. :) But these were summer green, and the sun was shining through their leaves.

This is what I saw: red brick walls, bright green leaves behind, and then nothing. The angle of the landscape left what was beyond to my imagination. I imagined a wide green field. Perhaps some low and unobtrusive sand coloured ruins. They weren't central to the theme. Beyond, the sea... calm, blue, crystal clear, waiting. A few families. Picnics. Swim Diapers. Soft Laughter. A yellow lab was playing at the edge of the water.

I saw it in my mind's eye and more than that I felt it. I felt as if that was beyond the wall and the trees and that changed the flavour of the street I was on entirely. I felt contented and relaxed. I wonder if it's not my adjusting to the move to Florida, but I think it's something more than that too.

I think you can tell something about someone's personality by whether they prefer mountains or the sea. Ideally, I'd like to have both, but if I have to choose, mountains win with no contest. For me, the sea is too calm, too relaxed... a place to lay down and let the world pass by. It's pleasant, sure, but we have only so much time in our lives, and I'd rather spend it on my feet.

But right now, I pick sea. Because sometimes even those who go go go need to recharge.

Translations are Like Wives

"Translations are like wives. The beautiful ones are not faithful, and the faithful ones are not beautiful." - Some Saying

Love this. :)

Best Cities To Live

http://www.forbes.com/2009/04/27/cities-best-live-lifestyle-real-estate-best-places-to-live.html?feed=rss_popstories

Rank 2009	Rank 2008	City	Country	Index 2009	Index 2008
1	2	VIENNA	AUSTRIA	108.6	107.9
2	1	ZURICH	SWITZERLAND	108	108
3	2	GENEVA	SWITZERLAND	107.9	107.9
4	4	VANCOUVER	CANADA	107.4	107.6
4	5	AUCKLAND	NEW ZEALAND	107.4	107.3
6	6	DUSSELDORF	GERMANY	107.2	107.2
7	7	MUNICH	GERMANY	107	107
8	7	FRANKFURT	GERMANY	106.8	107
9	9	BERN	SWITZERLAND	106.5	106.5
10	10	SYDNEY	AUSTRALIA	106.3	106.3
11	11	COPENHAGEN	DENMARK	106.2	106.2
12	12	WELLINGTON	NEW ZEALAND	105.9	105.8
13	13	AMSTERDAM	NETHERLANDS	105.7	105.7
14	14	BRUSSELS	BELGIUM	105.4	105.4
15	15	TORONTO	CANADA	105.3	105.3
16	19	OTTAWA	CANADA	105	104.7
16	16	BERLIN	GERMANY	105	105
18	17	MELBOURNE	AUSTRALIA	104.8	104.8
19	17	LUXEMBOURG	LUXEMBOURG	104.6	104.8
20	20	STOCKHOLM	SWEDEN	104.5	104.5

Best Cities to Live:

#1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 16 are all in German speaking Countries! (I would say that they are all German speaking, but I am pretty ignorant about Switzerland, so probably one of those speaks French. XD)

# 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, (14), 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20 are all in Germanic speaking Countries! (I put Brussels in parenthesis because I know it's mostly Francophone. But surely it would have rated higher if they let the Dutchies do more talking ;))

The top 3 speak German, the top 20 speak a Germanic language - that's conclusive enough evidence for me that it's speaking German that makes you happy!

Canada did very well, but I was a bit surprised that Scandinavian cities didn't do as well as might be expected given how high the countries rank for best COUNTRIES to live. Yes, Copenhagen and Stockholm both made a showing, but no Norway, etc. I thought about blaming climate, which is apparently one of the factors that they look at, but the cold didn't seem to have hurt Germany at all. I guess it's because of the lack of big cities in Scandinavia, or maybe all the happy people live outside of cities? For all the shit Norwegians give Oslo, it didn't actually do too bad. (It's 24th). America's first showing is Honolulu at 29th. The only real person I've ever heard of coming from Hawaii is Obama, and I've never met anyone from Hawaii. It just doesn't feel real to me, so I'm not sure we can count it. The next one is San Francisco at 30.

By the way, you can count Germanic-speaking countries all the way to 32 if you give Singapore wiggle room (Danial says that everyone there speaks English, and it's the ordinary language, far more than Malay), and count Swedish for Finland (which seems cruel, but oh well.) At that point, France starts popping in, as does Japan, and the list as a whole becomes far more diverse.

21	21	PERTH	AUSTRALIA	104.3	104.3
22	22	MONTREAL	CANADA	104.2	104.2
23	23	NURNBERG	GERMANY	104.1	104.1
24	24	OSLO	NORWAY	103.7	103.7
25	25	DUBLIN	IRELAND	103.6	103.5
26	32	SINGAPORE	SINGAPORE	103.5	102.9
26	25	CALGARY	CANADA	103.5	103.5
28	27	HAMBURG	GERMANY	103.4	103.4
29	28	HONOLULU, HI	UNITED STATES	103.1	103.1
30	29	SAN FRANCISCO, CA	UNITED STATES	103	103
30	29	HELSINKI	FINLAND	103	103
30	29	ADELAIDE	AUSTRALIA	103	103
33	32	PARIS	FRANCE	102.9	102.9
34	34	BRISBANE	AUSTRALIA	102.4	102.4
35	35	TOKYO	JAPAN	102.2	102.2

The numbers, btw, are comparing them to New York, which is 100.

Coming Up Next: Japan

We've been planning for a good month or two, but this morning Laura and I bought plane tickets to Japan, so it's official. Our travel dates are July 15 - August 5th, giving us a good three weeks to see most of the 'must sees' in Japan. Our itinerary includes Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, Hiroshima, Miyajima, and Nara among the well known sites, as well as stops in Kamakura, Takayama, Kanazawa, Nikko, Mount Koya, and a few other places off the beaten path.

Here is a (by no means exhaustive) photo tour of some of the things we'll be seeing: (Not including our lovely and gracious Japanese friends, of course. :D)


Tokyo! (Note the sign for Karaoke on the far left - *gulp*)


Nagoya Castle


Giant Buddha, Kamakura


Wedded Rocks, Ise


Old Town Takayama


Kenrokuen Garden, Kanazawa


One of the numerous, beautiful gardens of Kyoto


Kinkakuji (Golden Temple), Kyoto


The biggest wooden building in the world: Todaiji Temple in Nara


Hiroshima Peace Memorial Garden


An overnight temple stay at Mount Koya


Himeji Castle

Osaka


The original "Three Monkeys", Nikko


Lake Chuzenji


Tokyo Disney Sea

Japanese Update

I wasn't lying when I thought something broke over spring break. But, as I think I've said, it wasn't the Japanese language, as I had hoped. It was just the script. But now finally the language itself is bending. I actually think it's helped to learn in Romaji. I know I shouldn't, but it's helping a lot. I'm getting the grammar figured out, I'm learning the vocabulary much more quickly... Since I already understand the syllabaries pretty well, the plan is now to keep up with Kanji and work on grammar and vocabulary, then about a week before the trip go back and review the kana.

We'll see. I'm only at chapter 5 in my book. I'm not a big fan of this book, but I am learning important things, just in a disorganized and frustrating fashion. And I say the language is bending because it's looking just a bit more possible, I'm not feeling as trapped when I think about how they express various things... I am not just parroting phrases, I can actually make my own sentences now! I know three verb forms (past, non past, and hortative) and about 12 verbs, and the rest of my vocabulary is slowly growing. Some things I can say now (albeit slowly for most of them):

In English:
Which newspaper do you read?
I bought the apple at a kiosk.
Mobile phones are in the electronics counter on the sixth floor.
I didn't go.
Who will cook?
In that case, let's go to the mountains.
I studied Japanese in Tokyo.
Let's eat at eight o'clock.
Shall I carry the suitcase?
The Japanese eat rice every day.
Let's buy the cheap one.

In Japanese:
Dono shinbun o yomimasu ka.
Kiosuku de ringo o kaimashita.
Keitai denwa wa rokkai no denkaseihin-uriba ni arimasu.
Ikimasen deshita.
Sore dewa, yama e ikimashoo.
Watashi wa nihongo o Tookyoo de benkyoo shimashita.
Hachiji ni tabemashoo.
Suutsukeesu o mochimashoo ka.
Mainichi nihonjin wa gohan o tabemasu.
Yasui no kaimashoo.

Flags

A black tarp. Several rectangular wooden tiles. Paintbrushes. A ruler. Several cans of poorly chosen paint colours - black, white, red, and pastel blue, yellow, and green. Ten to twenty students putting off studying for finals.

We painted flags.


We didn't have the ideal colours, and our attempts at mixing failed horribly and produced only a useless pink and several variations of equally useless grey. We only had enough tiles for about 30 flags - far less than we needed to even give a reasonably share to each corner of the world. Instead, it was anarchy. People made what they wanted. This meant Taiwan, and no China, a very beautiful Serbia, Russia, Seychelles, and Isle of Man, no U.K., no Germany, an very detailed Nicaragua and Mexico, no Brazil or Canada, a few attempts at the U.S. and Texan flags, only one of which was allowed to remain, a Finnish flag, a Norwegian flag, even a Sami flag (can you tell I was involved?), Japan, Angola, Georgia, South Ossetia, and a Pangaea flag showing the 'old' globe. Some of them turned out quite nice:



Actually I think they all did. :) Next year Pangaea is moving, and they're tearing down all the flags we have scattered around the floor. Most of them are outdated, damaged, or bad anyway... but it's still a bit sad. And the worst crime is that they're tearing down our very impressive map of the world... which must have been done in years past with a projector or something, it's so detailed and lovely. I think it would be just fine in World of Business... it's only one wall, after all, and they never decorate theirs, but they'll hear none of it. Still, at least we can pass these flags on to the next generation. And we signed and dated and labled all the backs. :D

Caffeine

I don't normally take in much, if any, caffeine. There is the trace amount in chocolate, but I don't drink soda, or coffee, or chew any of that caffeine gum or anything like that. So it has a profound affect on me.

I'm taking allergy pills right now that make me tired. Last night I got home from an event and fell asleep at 8. Normal bedtime here is 12-2, so that was really weird. Today I took the allergy pill together with a caffeine pill, hoping they would counteract each other.

ONE caffeine pill. It says on the box that it is the equivalent of one cup of coffee. Well, all day I've been jittery and restless, but still a bit tired, which just felt weird. Part of me wanted to collapse and part of me wanted to go for a run. It actually was worse when I moved - typing for example got me all worked up at the peak of it, and when I walked it felt kind of funny because half of me was slouching and taking my time, and the other part of me was shaking. I couldn't eat much for lunch but I ate noodles when I got back at 2 and I started to feel a bit better. I think I should scale back to half a pill next time, if I even follow this strategy again.

All in all it just makes me feel really stressed out, like I do for the hour before a big speaking test or something. But it also makes me want to work on things, which is what I need right now. I scheduled all the stuff I need to do for P.A., worked some more on the Japan itinerary, figured out where and when I'm going to do my last events and my extra credit for Journalism, wrote some emails, figured out meals and events for the lake house this weekend, coordinated rides for all the people going (the number kept growing), and figured out possible times for the proseminar next year, based on my schedule and the schedules of my Figgies.

I got a high B on the last Stat exam. It would have been a high A, but I lost 10 out of the 12 points I lost on a single written answer problem which absolutely stumped me. (But since I showed my work I recovered 3 of the thirteen points the question was worth :D). I can't get an A in the class, but my B is very solid, and the same goes for Journalism. However, I'm doing extra credit in Journalism and I've been to every review section for Statistics, so there's a chance that my grades will be bumped up to B+'s, which are worth more. Poli Sci is the only class I really have to worry about my C is solid, but... I really don't want a C. :( But poor Anlan! She needs an 87% to pass the class and she hasn't done anywhere near that well on the first tests! (well, obviously.). We're reviewing together tonight. She takes great notes, so I'll come up with helpful memorizing strategies for her and steal her notes. :D German and Spanish are A's.

It's an exciting time, but very stressful, and caffeine is either helping or making it worse, I can't tell. :D

Japan Trip

The Japan trip is about 97% certain now, and we've come up with a nice itinerary. It's all very exciting and everything looks beautiful!

http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2400.html

I've found this site especially invaluable, and basically modified their 20 day itinerary to cut out Nagasaki and work in more nights staying with friends.

I'm wondering yet again how people with no knowledge of foreign languages plan trips. Even planning my trip to Scandinavia (Scandinavia! Where they all speak English!) I found myself grateful on numerous occasions to be able to read Norwegian, Swedish, and Danish. Japan is a lot harder, and my knowledge of Japanese is less than my knowledge of Finnish, but I think even the small amount Laura and I know, in addition to having some translators on call, are making it possible.

For an example of what we're dealing with, check out this website:

http://www.sanboin.com/

This was one of the most navigable temple stay websites we found, and we think we're going to use it, although if we read Japanese perfectly we might be able to find a slightly cheaper one. As it was we used all of our Japanese just to find the site, navigate it (one of the six, seven? English words helped us find the 'stay' section), figure out that "一人様 9,500円" meant "one person... 9,500 yen", and that the little button at the bottom of that page means email reservation, or something like that. Even this little amount required knowing several Kanji. I know about 50 Kanji and Laura knows probably about 200 (I'm not sure). We are finding ourselves needing every bit of that, and still confirming most things with one of the Japanese girls.

Anyway, we are planning to email this temple in Japanese, with the Japanese girls translating "We are two American women wanting to stay in the temple on July X, for one night... we see that your prices are 9,500 per person including Breakfast and Dinner, and you are in Koyasan. Can we confirm all of this and get directions? We speak only a small amount of Japanese." and seeing if we can't get a reservation. Mostly we are staying with friends or cheapish tourist hotels, but we are staying in more authentic places 3 nights, so we expect to go through a similar process at least two more times.

Important Stuff

I feel like I've been sleepwalking or something the last month or so and have finally woken up - just in time to handle a mountain of administrative stuff. My grades, for example, are not at all what I would like. But the only thing that really matters is keeping my scholarships and my eligibility for study abroad, and based on my worst case scenario for this semester, I'll still do both. But if I get my 'worst case scenario' I'll use up a good deal of the grace I accumulated by doing so well first semester, which is a bit sad. Still, I think that my grades will be worst this semester and next, because I am taking a lot of Gen Ed classes I don't care about.

I am trying to figure out everything for working as a P.A. next year, and for living here independently, as my family is moving to Florida. There's a lot of paperwork, etc, involved, and I've finally started a calendar. The moment I began using it I wondered how I had gone so long without! It makes me feel so much calmer and better. Things are starting to come together but it's still hectic.

Sissel - Climb Every Mountain

Jantulógin

Yesterday I passed a patch of purple tulips, with shorter orange ones growing underneath. They were lovely. There was just one tulip in the sea of purple and undergrowth of orange that didn't quite match - it was a white/purple hybrid, lovely, the two colours swirling together in a vivid contrast to the deep purples that surrounded it. It amused me, so I took pictures of it - I guess going for one of those 'be unique' inspirational posters or something. :)

Today I passed the same patch. All the top flowers were purple. From having spent a minute or two photographing them the day before, I knew exactly where the off-colour one had been. Today there were green leaves there at the base, holding up a slender, tall, green stalk which ended in a perfect, round, horribly wet stump.

Janteloven in action?

I suppose I understand that there must be some way of controlling the colours of flower arrangements, and that it's no worse, really, than picking a weed or putting together a bouquet. I realize all of this, and yet, like a bad omen, the weeping stalk, still standing, bothers me.

Friend Fights

It hurts me to hurt my friends, even if it was unintended and even if I think they're exaggerating. If it's someone I care about, I don't 'get angry back' or anything like that. I just feel sick, can't eat, throw up.

I just wanted to say that. I don't do friend fights well.

Wow

This is from the list of 'best LJ posts ever written'. It's very sweet. I wish I had written it. ;)

"I’m sitting at the Bourgeois Pig cafe on Fullerton, next to two people who are obviously on a first, blind date. You wouldn't necessarily notice them at first - they are average looking white people in a room and a neighborhood full of the same, but something about them is making the whole room hum. They are both so NERVOUS. They are both talking too fast and too much. And then they fall silent and grin, with these huge geeky grins if they happen to make eye contact. She keeps dropping things and he keeps picking them up and then they meet under the table and she blushes deep red and so does he.

He’s tall, with brown hair and thick glasses with black frames. She’s short and curvy, with thick curly brown hair. They look adorable together. As I watch them, I root for them to spend the whole day together. They should go to a movie, or walk over to the park. I want them to make out all night. I want her to say “I never do this” and undo his belt. I want him to say “me neither” and help her with the buckle. I want him to call when he says he’ll call, and cook her breakfast, and bring her daffodils. I want her to buy a new dress, in a color she’s never worn before, and wear it for him. Oh My God, they have matching messenger bags. She’s telling some story about her favorite children’s book, and he’s read it, loved it too. She looks up at him and smiles and she’s gorgeous and he just blinks out at her from behind his glasses as if he can’t believe that this girl is with him. His eyes are blue, and kind. For a few minutes no one drops anything – they just sit there and grin and blush.

A year from now I want them to be living together in the top of a 3-flat somewhere. They’ll paint all the walls in bright colors, and the space will overflow with books – her children’s book collection, his graphic novels, side-by-side on the shelf. They’ll have a housewarming party and all their friends will come. Family and friends will surround them, smiling indulgently at these two who can’t seem to stop looking at each other, to stop smiling when they mention each other’s names. Neither of them will be able to believe their good luck, how much better their lives are now that they come home to a smiling face, a pot of soup on the stove, dueling crosswords in bed on Sunday mornings, knees and elbows kissed under the quilt, surprisingly passionate sex that can still make them blush when they think about it, naps in the hammock on the back porch. For the first six months she’ll cry every time he makes her come, and he’ll hold her and stroke her hair, shocked at his own power to undo and to comfort another human being. She’ll secretly take belly-dancing lessons at the Y and surprise him on his birthday, shy bookworm transformed into a siren, unrecognizable, powerful, his.

Now they are getting ready to leave....I can see and hear the hopefulness in each of them...”Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” “I was supposed to help my friend pack.” “Oh.” “But I can do it tomorrow.” “Oh!” “Want to just walk around for a while?” “We could go over to the zoo.” “I came on my bike.” “Really? Me too.” Already there is something protective and proprietary in the way he behaves toward her, clearing the table for her, opening the door. No one else in the world exists. They are pure static electricity. He will always open doors for her, let her have the window seat on airplanes, and cover her with a blanket when she falls asleep on the couch. She will nurse his colds with homemade chicken soup, stand in line to get a book signed by his favorite author.

All their neuroses and annoying quirks will be loveable to one another – he spends too much money on CDs, she’s always 15 minutes late. They will never, ever take each other for granted. Day jobs, the cable bill, dirty cereal bowls, global warming, international strife will become more bearable. Their first Christmas they’ll go to the pound and adopt a puppy and a kitty, and they’ll sit on the floor of their place – in long johns and pajamas and big wooly sweaters and play with their new family. When they shyly announce their engagement, no one they know will be surprised – their friends and family will laugh and laugh, because they knew all along that these two will marry and have adorable round geeky babies – this woman was made to be pregnant, this man was made to cup a baby’s head in huge, trembling hands. These two have been moving toward each other their whole lives – someone else who loves Le Petit Prince, someone who hates getting all dressed up, someone who can talk about politics without getting shrill and angry, someone who thinks deeply about things and tries to be a good person, someone who doesn’t have an easy time forming attachments but who loves deeply and lastingly when it happens.

At 40 they will be more beautiful than they have ever been, all awkwardness gone, two people in the prime of life, standing upright, still in love, both somehow more than they would ever be alone. This is what I wish for these two people who are geeking on each other across a cafe table littered with crosswords and mochas, with me sitting by, a silent fairy godmother, honored to witness love’s birth. Right now, I could believe and hope for almost any good thing."

It actually made me cry a bit to read this. :)

Study Abroad Selections (II)

Recap: These are the places I'll most likely study abroad.

A Semester in Pamplona, Spain:


Yes, this is where they have the Running of the Bulls.



A Semester in Bonn, Germany.



A Semester in Bergen, Norway.



And maybe a summer internship in Buenos Aires, Argentina:

Study Abroad Selections

I had a lot of ideas about where I wanted to study abroad. My final list of ideas looked something like this, in order of priority, interest:

Norway
Spain
Germany? Japan?
Italy? Finland?
Latin America?

Complicating matters significantly was the fact that most of these countries offered multiple locations for Study Abroad.

But I sat down with a chart of my remaining semesters and figured it out like an old fashioned logic puzzle.

Firstly, I have to do one of my semesters through the Journalism School, because I can only take one of my years off from the Journalism school and still get a Journalism degree, and I can only get Journalism credit on one of their programs.

So, looking at the options through Journalism, the most appealing one was Spain, because then I could kill two birds with one stone. The Journalism program in Spain is in the University of Navarra in Pamplona, and you can go there for a full year or for Spring semester. Spring Semester it is.

Next. Norway is really important to me, so I looked at it next. Mizzou has one program in Norway - an exchange with the University of Bergen. The weather there isn't great, or so I've heard, but otherwise it sounds lovely. You can go there for a full year or either semester, but Lene recommended (and it makes sense) going in the Spring - that way the weather is getting nicer, not uglier, you have the summer afterwards if you want to go on any trips, and you're there for Syttende Mai! (Not crucial, but nice)

This meant that I only had a fall semester to work with. For some reason, not many schools have a fall semester option. I started thinking about and looking at my other options. The main two are Germany and Japan. The benefits to Germany are that I could take my classes in German, becoming rather fluent in the process, and that Germany has a nice, central European location, so I could go on a lot of awesome weekend trips, etc. The benefits to Japan are that it's non-European, so I would be able to expand my cultural horizons, and gain maybe a working knowledge of Japanese.

I plugged these into search, and there was one possibility in each country for fall semester. However, the one in Japan comes with a strong recommendation that you have studied Japanese in University, and most of the classes offered at that University are about Japanese cultural studies - interesting, but not easy to apply to my degree.

So I think it makes the most sense to go to Germany - Bonn, in particular. Bonn (a former capital of Germany) looks like it has a lot of culture and great access to several cool countries in Europe (the Benelux, Austria, Switzerland...) which I'd like to go to for a weekend or so while I'm there.

So, it's more or less decided:

Pamplona, Spain
Bergen, Norway
and
Bonn, Germany

The only thing that remains to be decided are which semesters are which - since I have two fall and two spring semesters to work with. I think I'll travel the first fall, and be home the second to kind of break things up and keep myself from going crazy. Then there is just the matter of whether I go to Norway or Spain first, but I'm thinking it might be Norway because there could be advantages to starting my sequence before I go to Spain (if I go the first year I'll be admitted to my sequence but I won't have started).

There is also a possibility that I'd be able to take a summer internship in Argentina at some point, which would be great as I could expand my experiences onto another continent. (I want to be a travel journalist, so this is about more than just bragging about how many countries I have hit ;)) If that works out I might make Lucia come down at the beginning or the end of that so we can have our crazy Chile trip. :D

Romaji?

I have a made a potentially naughty decision. I am going to use some Romaji in learning Japanese. This is because I have to learn Japanese quickly, and I think that vocabulary, grammar, etc, will come more quickly to me if I use some Romaji. I hate to do it, because I know that for long term study it's a bad idea. However, I'm not planning to become a Japanese scholar or anything like that. I'd like to have some basic read/write ability in Japanese too, but trying to do them together is just slowing down my grammar acquisition too much. If I find myself getting ahold of the grammar, I can always go back to learning, practicing exclusively in the Japanese script, but for now I think it's slowing me down too much. For example, I look at a page of grammar to review - and I can't 'review' - I can't skim. I can read Hiragana now, but I can't skim it.

Anyway, I will still be using Hiragana sometimes to make sure it doesn't disappear, and I will still be learning Kanji (and maybe I'll go ahead and knock out Katakana sometime before I go), but if my book or my brain wants to work on grammar in Romaji, I'm going to stop fighting it.

Photoshop Project I

It Had Flowers...

As of right now there is no longer a tree outside my window. I woke up to the sound of chainsaws and looked outside and thought for a moment that they were only trimming some of the branches, and then they bit into the main trunk, and now the tree is gone.

It bothers me. The tree wasn't the healthiest on campus, it had a branch or two that were maybe dead, but it had green leaves all over it, and even a few flowers, and it was my tree, right outside my window...

I don't know what they'll do with the spot now, but surely even a struggling tree with a nice wood shape would have been better than an empty circle of mulch?


It had flowers...

Ich Will Etwas Sagen -

Du bist mein Lebenskompass. Ich orientiere mich an dir unabsichtlich, und das ist in Ordnung. Bisherig gehe ich gute Wege. Auch gab ich den Versuch auf, dein Angesicht von fallendem Schnee, der Sonne, und klarem Wasser zu löschen- oder deine Stimme von dem Wind in den Föhren oder dem Dröhnen des Flugzeugs zu trennen. Aber es gab diesen Traum, diesen Trost - ich stöße ab, und es war gut.

Old Acquaintanceships

We do begin to become accustomed to always sound, always light, to the thick clouds of micropop vapor that drift through the halls, so thick in places we imagine we could lick the trans-fat straight out of the air. To janitors passing, complaining loudly on their cell phones at the crack of dawn - which is to say, before eleven on weekdays and two on weekends. To the indistinguishability between wet and moldering carpet, the drinking fountains whose filters no one bothers to change, and fresh Kimchi. All the early questions, the easy conversations are worn thin, the jokes are all tired... there's no more fun in these old acquaintanceships.

But now I eat seaweed. I can list at least 20 flavours of Ramen. With my eyes clothes I can hear and understand that Mayumi is making coffee and rice with her bottled water, pulling out her dry red pepper seasoning and sitting down to study. I know every resident by their laugh, their cough. And I see memories pass like motion blur ghosts from doorway to doorway, remember lying on the hard tile floor and laughing until we cried, ducking under raindrops as we ran to Subway, making footprints in the snow on Stankowski, an awkward spot or two worth a smile from a distraction... unfulfilled and fulfilled promises, that took physical form at some point and left footprints.

I should have blogged more when it was new. These things cease to be so fascinating but isn't that interesting in and of itself? Living here for a year, we've already painted the campus with enough sweat, tears, blood, colours of exhaustion, excitement, plans to make it ours.

I Will Learn to Photoshop!

I thought I was pretty good at Photoshop. After all, I could compile pictures and make a wicked looking siggy. Or banner.

But I realized that I couldn't even do something as simple as adding water to a scene in Photoshop.

That's going to change.

Ignore the fact that I photoshopped myself here into the Swiss Alps and that I 'Posterized' the whole scene. The point is that I followed a tutorial to add water. That water in the foreground? Yeah, that's completely my invention. I'm going to keep practicing this.

Undone

Slightly Disheartening Japanese Update

I have a confession to make. My announcement that I had broken down the first wall of Japanese was a bit premature. I did feel something break (two?) weeks ago, but I'm now pretty sure it was the writing system - the idea of balancing three of them, no spaces, and how to look at Kanji without screaming in pure terror. Japanese vocabulary and grammar are still giving ground very, very slowly.

But I'm not worried. At the moment I'm taking it one construction at a time, substituting different things in to make new meanings. My book is running more and more against my learning style the further I get, but I'm just going to put up with it for a while. Next weekend I can pick up one of my other Japanese books if I want - but I think the other ones are even worse about showing Romanji than this one, and I don't really know how they treat grammar, etc yet. Laura told me I could borrow her textbook over the summer if I wanted to, and it looks pretty nice, so I may take her up on that.

But I know more than 50 Kanji now, and my knowledge of Hiragana is rock solid!

Easter as an Exile

私の気の卵 (My Egg of Power... has the Kanji for Power on it.)

I'm still in the States this year, but I might as well not be. Tabitha and I are just about the only Americans left at Mizzou. The parking lots are deserted as most of the student body has headed home to be with their families for the holiday. My parents called this morning and I talked to each of them a bit, which was nice... Still, I better get used to experiencing these holidays as an exile, eh? :)

I bought some egg dye last time I was home, and so Mayumi, Mitsuki, Mimi, Tabi and I decided to dye some eggs. Mayumi bought a dozen and we accidentally cracked one, then we raided the downstairs fridge and stole four more that expired only a few weeks ago. We boiled them in two rice cookers, and it seemed to work pretty well. Laura and Elvina showed up later and each dyed an egg. Considering that it was the first time most of our group had dyed eggs, they caught on really fast and made some really cute and creative designs and colours!

Why I'm Partial to Bad Weather

Today the weather is beautiful. The sun is shining and the grass is green, and it's nice and perfect cool - the spring still working on it's comeback from the aftershock of winter that hit last week and even brought a bit of snow to the pear blossoms and daffodils.

And when the weather's nice, I just can't rest. There's an itching inside of me screaming, "Don't delay! Go out as soon as you possibly can! Walk, run, climb, wade... enjoy!"

And that's just the problem. Quite often, I can't. Or the rest of me doesn't want to. And then I can't make all of me happy with the new plan, because the itch won't go away.

Today my friends are all out of town and I'm a bit sick and feel somewhat miserable, and I'd love to study some Japanese and I need to clean my room and do a lot of schoolwork. But this itch wants me out and about. It's ridiculous. Alone? Leaving all responsibilities behind? Sneezing the whole time?

If it was raining and dreary out, like it was last week when I felt fine, I'd relax completely, knowing it was a Saturday - I could rest and not waste a thing. Take a nap. Read. Do laundry. But instead I want out and don't want out. I'm miserable.

Winterbells

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm

This game is so cute and sweet. :D I love it! Can't help but feel that I could do much better with a mouse, though. ;)

My High Score:

Life in the Faroes

I realized that I haven't yet mentioned my other blog, Life in the Faroes. I am the secondary writer/translator of this blog, which is primarily written by my friend Uni. Uni is from the Faroe Islands and he is the one who helps me with Faroese when I have time to study it! :D (Wish I had more, I love the language and Uni is so nice and helpful!)

Anyway, we started writing this blog together because we realized that, despite recent increases, the internet isn't exactly saturated with information about the Faroes, especially daily life there... and there is a marked lack of bilingual English - Faroese resources online.

The blog can be found at:

http://roskur.blogspot.com/

Liisa! (And Johan and Zahra)

I bought Liisa's birthday present today, but it cost more than it should and so I have to go back and get the card another time. The card I was looking at was nice, but it wasn't absolutely irreplaceable. I like the gift. It's very much black humour, so I think Liisa will appreciate it. :) It's a bit late for me to send it to her, but then, her present to me is going to be more than a month late... so... I have some leeway. XD We've been awful penpals lately... really since I visited her. But that's maybe because we're more like ordinary friends now - we find out about big things on Facebook, so that removes the urgency for emails... and we know that we'll remain friends if we miss a month or two or twelve of our correspondance.

But I do need to send her an email. Perhaps this weekend, since it will be my last free one for a long, long time? On that subject I should send one to Johan too. It's not that I don't think of them! I just get super absorbed when I start writing emails. Speaking of which I have a pseudo penpal right now through the university. Her name is Zahra and she is from India - she's been accepted into the Journalism school here and will arrive in the fall. Since I'm on a five year plan we'll actually be graduating together... and I think we're the same age! :) So there's potential for this to turn into a very real friendship. ;)

I've been answering her questions and worries about coming here. She seems very smart and her English is great, but some of her questions still make me laugh. "Are there any trains and busses that go from New York to Columbia?" O.o I'm of course trying not to be bias when I tell her about the different FIGS, but I'm kind of hoping she'll be in mine. ^^ It would be great to start the year with an ally in my hall and in the class I'm teaching!

Jo'Shawn

I'm finished with Big Brothers Big Sisters. It happened like this...

Last Wednesday I went to Elementary School A at the usual time and went to the office to sign in. There was a lady in there speaking with the secretary and I didn't pay much attention until I heard a name - Jo'Shawn. How many kids can there be in that school named Jo'Shawn? How many kids can there be in the world named Jo'Shawn?

Jo'Shawn is my 'little'. I sort of lingered, wanting to know what they were talking about, thinking, "It's probably none of my business, but..." I became aware of their being aware that I was lingering, so I left. I went through the little school that's sort of split level, sort of strange, that seemed so complicated and foreign those first few weeks, but lately I've felt almost like I have a right to be there. Up the stairs.

I was almost to the classroom when I heard 'Jo'shawn' again, from a little girl just outside. She was writing a letter with big loopy second grader handwriting. She was with an attendant and the attendant asked, "Who's Jo'Shawn?" "He's that kid who's always being silly!" said the girl. I stopped, looked at her letter briefly and saw that it was addressed to Jo'Shawn. The girl turned and recognized me, I don't know how...

"Oh!" she said cheerfully. "Jo'Shawn moved!"

...

... Thanks for the notice?

I went in to talk to his teacher. Apparently she didn't know either - she had been out on Tuesday and surprise! That was his last day. And all those unfinished assignments would remain unfinished, and Jo'Shawn's desk would be cleared out abruptly and... Confusion, surprise, must have been evident on my face.

"It happens a lot here." The teacher said.

I returned to the office. The lady from earlier was still there, talking with the secretary. I returned my nametag and said, "Well, I guess I'm not coming anymore. My little was Jo'Shawn."

That excited them. They said that they were trying to get 'mobility' for him, since he had only moved within town and might be able to get transportation to continue going to Elementary School A. Either way, they said, they hoped I would continue to be his Big Sister, because evidentally he liked me a lot. They gave me directions to his new school, Elementary School B. It was a couple miles away, through unknown downtown areas I wouldn't want to be at night, but it was daytime, a nice day, and I had a reason to go there, so it wasn't too bad.

I found some strange modern art. I saw Columbia College. I passed beggers who... begged... and I'm so not used to that... I shrank several inches and wanted a dollar or two to magically go from my pocket to theirs but I was too nervous and unaccustomed to approach and do it myself and I don't think the magic worked. I want to at least smile at them - I don't hate them - but if you look their way they say it - "spare any change?" It's wicked of me but I can't help but think in a corner of my mind that 'spar' is Norwegian for save... I know enough about the varied circumstances that lead people to this that I hold off the rest of my mind from judging them, but... there is this uncomfortable tickle and on the way back I take another street, closer to construction and further from uncomfortableness.

Finally, as I was about to turn back, I saw 'children crossing' signs and knew I was just around the corner. I thought, "If Jo'Shawn moved, he'll want to see me." The thought made me smile. I hoped the transition wasnt hard on him. I went in and the people there were much less friendly than at Elementary School A. But eventually they told me that his first day was tomorrow, he wasn't there yet. I left and the way back was longer.

This Wednesday I called Elementary School A to check on mobility and whether that had worked out. It hadn't. The weather wasn't as nice but I walked all the way to Elementary School B, and waited twenty minutes to meet his teacher, and that settled things. Elementary School B only allows Big Sisters to meet with students during lunchtime. I have classes then.

After all of that - a dead end.

I cry to easily. I started to cry. I wasn't weeping, but there were tears in my eyes and my voice changed and I hated it and willed it away and they looked at me strangely. I had to say something and I said,

"I'm sorry, I've just walked a long way."

I asked if I could see him today. They said I could in a few hours (when school was out?).

"I mean, just for a few minutes... to say goodbye... because I guess I won't see him again."

That could be arranged. The short walk upstairs I tried to cut my crying out completely. I almost succeeded. Jo'Shawn was happy to see me. He gave me a tackle hug which almost made me cry again. He said, "I thought you wouldn't come!" We stood out in the hallway and I asked him about his new school but then I said "Listen, I can't come anymore because I have class during your lunch. Okay? I'll try to come next year, okay? :)" The broken smile.

He'd asked for Origami paper for weeks, and I'd kept it with me for if he finished all of his schoolwork. He never did! Got close sometimes, but I kept all the pretty paper in my Spanish book. And I had it with me. So I took it out and gave it to him then.

I wish we could have had a real last week and played a game and been happy about it, but it was so sudden and abrupt and strange. And I feel like I'm abandoning him when he changes schools, the hardest time to be abandoned. But what could I do? We hugged again, he had to go back to class, watching some movie... I went out a side door because I didn't want to see the office people again.

I walked home. It was a long walk.

Recipe Star Quizzes

Created by Recipe Star

Created by Recipe Star

Created by Recipe Star

Yay Food Websites! :D And this one has quizzes...

Juxtaposition

I'm sitting in some amazing trees outside of Laws, working on my computer. The juxtaposition between the modern technology and this little patch of nature is quite lovely. There are obviously drawbacks to using the computer outside, like the fact that it's nearly impossible to use in bright sunlight. It makes me very aware of how badly my screen needs to be cleaned. If I want to see what I'm typing I have to use my own shadow to make a portion of it readable. But it's worth it, because the rest of the screen is filled with a picture perfect reflection of the trees above, with all their new year green leaves and even a few birds flitting around.

These trees have amazing twisty branches that form a roof over your head, and little perches where one can sit and even balance a laptop. Not exactly relaxing but it's lovely, because you almost can't see the street full of cars that's in front of you, or the concrete monstrosity that is Laws rising up to your right. You know they are there, though... the deep base boom of a passing car interrupts the birdsong, all possible natural smells are blotted out as cigarette smoke wafts in from the left, laundry smells from the right, the smell of the street from up ahead, and, most distracting, the smell of food frying at Dobbs. But that almost makes it nicer, almost makes you appreciate your tiny patch of nature more - the little spider that climbs the trunk of the tree not a foot from your face, stops and blends in perfectly... the birds that fly down and under the canopy of the trees and then back up into them, disappearing in a rustle of green.

It's a small and perfect world. I sit quietly, try not to move more than my fingers and my eyes. I wonder how many things I can see, how many pictures I can take, from just this one spot, moving only eyes and, I'll allow, my neck... spiders, birds, squirrels... even ignoring the endless variety of the people who pass by.

Circumstance

In the last two months of Statistics, I've learned a great deal about margin of error, 'p hat', confidence intervals and standard deviations. But I haven't learned a thing about what makes me most curious - explanations that aren't excuses, effects that aren't correlations. I'm thinking primarily about Nature vs. Nurture. Not the specifics, just the most general view possible. It seems to me, increasingly, that the truth might look a bit like this:

--------------Personality Types--------A----B

Life Experience Types----------A ---AA---AB
--------------------------------------B--- BA---BB

With AA, AB, BA, and BB all completely different. This seems most likely to me.

Although other times I wonder if the life experience, or the personalities, one or the other, are invented... a reason invented by the human mind, obsessed with such things.

Because it's so complex, so difficult, to imagine why hard times make some people harder, some people softer, some more empathetic, some more thoughtful, some bitter, some easy to please...

And you wonder. How would my life be different if I had suffered more? If I had suffered less? Am I prone to my sensitivities or have life's circumstances handed them to me? Why have I been able to combat trouble with sarcasm and humour in some cases and not in others?

And I wonder these same things about others, but I have less license to do so, and less data to work with. I do know that numbers say precious little about infinite combinations hiding their origins.

Language Book Pet Peeves

I am somewhat forgiving of typos and such in ordinary books, because most of the time they don't really matter. You can understand what was intended and move on.

In language instruction books, this is not the case. Mistakes are almost unforgivable. I was quite mad at Beginner's Finnish for a while because it would pull many of the ordinary, despicable stunts - using a word in a dialogue or an exercise chapter before it was taught to you, misspelling words in vocab lists, (do they not realize that you learn words from those?) etc. In that case I was especially mad because I felt like they had neglected to proofread properly because they knew how few alternatives there were on the market.

And for the same reason, I cannot find quite the same amount of rage for my Japanese book, although it sports many examples of those same errors. I know I have other options. I bought this book, I had a choice. But I can still rant a bit, right?

Chapter Three's title is, "Talking about Family". And, okay, so you do learn enough about ages, family member names, and gender terms to have a limited discussion on that topic. But the chapter also includes a lot about months and clock time. But aside from the annoyance of a title that expresses, at best, half of it's contents, I want to rant a bit about exercise 3.7

They want you to 'ask' about the business hours of a bunch of random businesses, and then 'answer'. Okay, so we did learn time expressions. But we hadn't learned the names for any of the businesses, nor any expression that would even approach how to ask for business hours! After a second of staring at it, horrified that I had missed a rather meaty section of vocabulary from earlier on, I see another box, below the exercise, reading, "Some extra vocabulary that you may find helpful for this exercise".

No, no, no. These boxes are a great idea.... sometimes. Like when you're asking them to talk about their hobbies and you include a box with some extra hobbies that may apply in their unique cases. But not when the WHOLE exercise hinges on words only introduced FOR the exercise!

Grrr....