But none of this happened, of course, because it is a true story. A girl my own age dies alone, unable to have even her final wish; to be buried near her family, and be with them again. Infants are slaughtered beside their mothers, two months before the end of the war. Loung's arms and legs are like those of a skeleton, but her belly and feet are bloated. She takes her thumb and makes little dents in the ballooning flesh, and watches as they slowly re inflate.
They did everything right. Their father had been a monk, and he used his experience to gain a fair position for a previous city dweller. He could teach them all to farm, and had many other skills. From the beginning, they lied and pretended to be poor peasants. Loung's "Pa" was such a good father to her, letting her sit on his lap while he told her stories or tried to explain the world to her, even until the end. But eventually the Khmer Rouge find out that he had been in the civil service, and they kill him.
I'm reading this not long after watching "Hotel Rwanda", another horrible Genocide story. I'm making up excuses for why I can't tear myself away. I need to read this for school, I tell myself, although there are ten other books I could have chosen. This relates to my IP theme, I tell myself, although the comparatively cheery "Waiting for Snow in Havana" did just as well. I want to make a difference, I tell myself, though I know I can/will do nothing.
With these feeble excuses, I endure these stories. I think about them for weeks. I rewind. I read the worst passages again and again until I have no more tears for them. I think I'm forcing myself to see these things because they make me feel something that deserves to be felt.
Genocide needs to be felt, to be acknowledged. More than that, it needs to be ended. But I can feel it myself.
3 comments:
+1 sister
I remember Hotel Rwanda- that one was almost made me cry.
Lots of things should be ended: Darfur, nuclear weapons, hate crime, war, etc. And genocide is on that list.
Maybe we should protest: start a pirate peace force. :)
Hotel Rwanda--there's a good film. It documents the atrocity so well and with understanding and humanity.
There's another film on the Rwanda genocide that's getting wide release in the US: Beyond the Gates. It focuses more on the spiritual dimension of the genocide.
It's difficult for me to think about genocide, or to articulate it.
"I think I'm forcing myself to see these things because they make me feel something that deserves to be felt."
Well said.
The next question is how to respond. Even though we're comparatively rich and really lazy (speaking for myself), by promoting these subjects in our culture we can support the organizations that work to heal the wounded.
You're a writer; I know because I've seen you on Notebored. Well, there are ways for writers to go about doing something. In my state they have a thing called the Washington Holocaust Creative Writing Contest. I don't know what they have where you are, but I'm sure you could find something.
It's a small difference, but it makes us and others remember and contemplate, and who can say that isn't worth something? We're doing the past justice when we write stories to honor those people, to paint them with the dignity they deserve.
-kevin
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