The Lucky One

Cause you're mine...
That's all I need to know,
The sun shines everywhere we go...
It's all right, cause I've got you to hold,
Every night...

Yeah, I'm the lucky one...

- The Lucky One, Faith Hill

A Perfect World

In a perfect world
One we've never known
We would never need to face the world alone

They can have the world
We'll create our own
I may not be brave or strong or smart
But somewhere in my secret heart

I know
Love will find a way
Anywhere I go
I'm home
If you are there beside me

Like dark turning into day
Somehow we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way

I was so afraid
Now I realize
Love is never wrong
And so it never dies

There's a perfect world
Shining in your eyes
And if only they could feel it too
The happiness I feel with you

They'd know
Love will find a way
Anywhere we go
We're home
If we are there together

Like dark turning into day
Somehow we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way

I know love will find a way

- Love Will Find a Way, Lion King II

I've never known any feeling like this before.
My heart's going to break apart, it's so filled with light.

Baby's First Censored Book

When I was babysitting Faith tonight, I was reading her her favourite book; which was about different babies experiancing deep emotions such as happiness, hunger, wanting their mommy, playfulness, etc. However, I found myself not showing the "wanting mommy" and "sad baby" pages, because she was moody and I didn't want to give her even the smallest ideas. I guess this is what people who censor books have in mind... The difference I suppose being that an adult can, as Aristotle said, "entertain a thought without accepting it". Still, it gave me the smallest bit of insight into the other point of view, which I've found hard to comprehend before.

Winter's Farewell

It snowed last night. It really snowed. Not enough to get us off school, although every other school (from All Saints to Zion) in St. Louis was, but it was something. I had almost given up on seeing snow on the pines. It happened in the last minutes of Winter, like a tearful farewell. It's saying it didn't mean any of it; not the warmest January on record, not the days where we pranced about in shorts and t-shirts, soaking our feet in a lake that should have been frozen over. Ah, Winter, I forgive thee. ;)

Serenity

Tonight I'm praying the Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the Serenity to accept what I cannot change,
The Courage to change what I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Who knew this would be so hard? But I can do it. ><

The Matterhorn!

The Spring Smells the Same

Whenever I was little, if something bothered me, or frightened me; if I felt like the world was shaking around me, I would go for a walk. I've spent half my life now in this same neighborhood, and the smells of it are the most comforting things in the world, especially when theyre damp and warm in spring. Things are changing. My worlds are converging and I'm growing older every day. I'm not always sure what I'll become, but as long as the spring smells the same, I know things will turn out alright.

Am I making an impact?

It's small, but I'm proud of it... I feel as though I'm making some small impact on the world. My research paper, as any of you know, was about the Monolingualism of American Students. Well following, my English teacher Mr. Dee started taking Spanish classes, and the Foreign Language teachers are all asking me about Skype and my friends from overseas. It's weird to think I might be affecting other people's lives, even in this small way, but it feels good. ^^

"We just want..."

In the newspaper today, they quoted George Bush saying, "We just want people to come home." It seemed a silly thing to say, at first. Then I thought to myself, what if it wasn't George Bush who said it? What if it was someone I respected, or even someone I had never heard of before? Instead of seeming awkward or silly, I might go so far as to appreciate a sort of eloquence in it's simplicity. Clearly perceived stupidity is self perpetuating. Perhaps it is wrong. Then again, having wrought it upon himself, does Bush not deserve the prejudice?

How Much is Inside a Sharpie?

http://www.cockeyed.com/inside/sharpie/sharpie1.html

These people have no lives, but it's a funny story to read, at any rate. Sharpies aren't the only thing they've tested, either. This next link is pretty amazing, too:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/people/mixedtwins.asp

Yeah, I don't have time for a real update, but I wanted to share those links. Cheerio! :D

Birthday Celebrations

I had my family party last night. I got a squishy pillow, some chocolate kisses, a really nice new swimsuit and... a car! The same car I got for Christmas. :P I guess it's this kind of car...
Now, for fun with friends: I'm going to the lake house this weekend with just a few friends (transportation's hard to arrange, you know.) We'll be going out to eat at Sr. Peppers, and then to a shopping spree for snacks at Wal Mart. Then they pay me my dues (I mean presents), and we have a Feta. or Fiesta. Or Whatever. :P

Sixteen

I'm sixteen today. :P But I don't feel any different, and Tidbit says I don't smell any different. So am I? At any rate, it's a landmark of sorts, and I'm looking forward to what the new year might bring.

New Picture

Alright, I have a new picture up. ^^ Better, worse? I took it last night, so it's certainly more up to date.

An Unbirthday Party

Today I went to an Unbirthday Party. See, the family is too big to get together constantly, so they throw a birthday party for a 1-year old first cousin once removed, then use it as a medium in which to (surreptitiously and guiltily) celebrate all March birthdays. I forget if they do the same in August; they may well. There were hints as to the other birthdays, but being the recipient of one, I got the full weight of it. Many cards were slipped to me in an apologetic fashion. Some boring cards, some genericly funny ones, lots of 5 dollar bills. Probably my worst take-in in years, ah well. Aunt Brenda gave me a nice gift certificate to Borders, though... and I don't know whether I'm glad it's a gift card or not. On one hand, I need to save money, on the other, it might help my resolution to have a little unavoidable joy-spending.

My sister and I were the youngest in the oldest batch of cousins... three or so years below Michael, 5 or so above Trevor, Tori, and the great-grandchildren. The twilight zone. Considered a little young for the adult table, but out of place in the kids table, we become the unofficial and distinctively unpaid babysitters.

So a third of the party were screaming little kids (all blonde... wtf?) and old people. I mostly hung out with them.. the little kids are just a bit too loud for me, and the middle group... the cousins and second cousins and cousins by marriage, well.. they're just so physical lately. The easiest way to maintain a positive relationship of some sort is to act stupid, be physically affectionate, tease... It's so transparent, but maybe it's better than nothing. And maybe they're lazy, but maybe they just know that they don't see us as much as they'd like, so they take what they can get. *shrug* I remember when I was younger and didn't instant-analyze every one of them. Those were the days...

Profile Update

I updated my profile and added a few people to the Favourite Music section, and some new Favourite Books. I bet I'm the only person in the world that would list both Rammstein and the Dixie Chicks... but hey, different music for different days. I haven't read much at all this year, to be honest, but I was shuddering at the impression I was giving the world that I only read traditional fantasy novels, so I put up some other favourites. Hmmm... I'm also thinking about changing my display picture to a more... shall we say, normal? picture of me. Any suggestions?

School Food...

The stress finally got to me. Lunch was supposed to be the best part of our day; unstructured, free. In reality, we were shoved in a loud, dirty cafeteria and forced to shove our faces as fast as we possibly could. So, I had had enough. I went to the library one day to do research instead, and had an absolutely brilliant time of it. I went back the next day, and met with my friend Stephanie. We read together. We've done it every day since. It's wonderful, really. We bring a very light lunch, or none at all, and read. Nonfiction, of course, unless theres some fiction book absolutely consuming our conscious. I find its a nice, calm center to my day. I gather my thoughts and prepare for Spanish, English, and Math after the bell.

The weird thing is, I've lost 5 pounds since I started doing that. No other lifestyle changes. So I guess the cafeteria food actually is bad for you! Now I'm at 90 pounds, 41.2 kilos, which is supposedly my perfect weight. Neat-o, eh?

Birthday Presents!

My Grandmother came today and was the first to bestow upon me the ritual gifts. First, a sewing kit. I don't sew that much nowadays, but who knows, maybe I will someday; I used to be fond of it. It's pretty, regardless. A little pair of scizzors, some pins, 60 spools of coloured thread. Secondly, a box of stones, shaped like hearts, and some silver chains of different lengths to attach them onto to wear. If you can't make on of them match, you're hopeless. :P The stones are:

Amethyst
Aventurine
New Jade
Red Jasper
Pink Quartz
Rose Quartz
Crystal
Tiger's Eye
Goldstone
Turquoise
Hematite
Sodalite

Three Halves

"We can't speak half in German, half in Norwegian and half in English! That's three halves!"

Quick Webcam Shots

I realized that I haven't posted anything from my webcam yet, so I thought I'd post a few quick shots.
This first one is me in January, right after I got the webcam. It's a little dark, but I think it's a funny pose. I tend to look like that a lot when I'm surfing, especially later at night.

These next two are from today. See how much happier I am? :P Actually, I don't think I'm any happier. But maybe I look it. Strange.

Small Pout Session

I feel pathetic. I used to be so independant. Now, I nearly rely on school, racquetball, Austin, friends, Stian, or something to amuse me. If I don't have them, and I start doing something on my own, I get going and don't notice it. But too often, if they go away after, say, 8:30, I see no real need to continue my day, and I go to sleep. This is truly pathetic. There, I've admitted I have a problem, there's the first step.

Second pout: I have to sleep with my sister tonight. In her room. Each of these conditions, by itself, is survivable, but together? *shiver*

Finally: Austin is sick. ;_; Get better!

The Last Unicorn

Horizon rising up to meet the purple dawn
Dust demon screaming, bring an eagle to lead me on
For in my heart I carry such a heavy load
Here I am on man's road, walking man's road, walking man's road

When the last eagle flies over the last crumbling mountain
And the last lion roars at the last dusty fountain
In the shadow of the forest though she may be old and worn
They will stare unbelieving at the last unicorn

In the sea the fish have learned to fly
On a moonlit night on wings of silver
As the enchanted stars sail serenely by
Do they know where do unicorns go
Where winged horses fly
Narwhales lost at sea and never seen again
Go, go and ask the magpie
Where do unicorns go

When the first breath of winter through the flowers is icing
And you look to the north and a pale moon is rising
And it seems like all is dying and would leave the world to mourn
In the distance hear the laughter of the last unicorn

In the trees the birds have learned to speak
Gaily colored they keep their secrets
In a parade of clouds playing hide and seek
Do they know where do unicorns go
Where winged horses fly
Narwhales lost at sea and never seen again
Does myth and mystery lie
Where the unicorns go

When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning
And the future has passed without even a last desperate warning
Then look into the sky where through the clouds a path is torn
Look and see her how she sparkles, it’s the last unicorn

Moon rising, disguising lonely streets in gay displays
The stars fade, the night shade falls and makes the world afraid
It waits in silence for the sky to explode
Here I am on man's road, walking man's road, walking man's road
Walking man's road, walking man's road, walking man's road

- America, for the movie "The Last Unicorn", Screenplay and Novel by Peter. S. Beagle.

A small pittance of a birdbath; a lovely mottled green set in stones of red and white. They were artfully arranged, reminiscent of a Feng Shui design, but the jungle beyond dispelled any thoughts of Harmonious Spaces. The tiny garden plot was effectively a miniature jungle, two foot weeds sprung next to daffodils, vegetables sprouting between the two.

It’s been nearly…

Like those who have come before, and all those who will come after.

We look at a tree and see the leaves, she sees the branches underneath.

It’s over, isn’t it? Really over.

I’ve reached the edge of reason. Where do I go from here?

He had watched the years slowly take the colour from her hair and face, but this queer light had returned it, and she looked young again. Young, save in her eyes, which had always seemed so ageless. Now all the years of the sea were contained in their deep greyness, the patterns there were older than the world and older than the mists.

When all that is left to us are memories. They are not faded, but vivid and fresh as the day they were conceived, and painful and bitter.

Slowly, deliberately, she unfastened the ribbon and slid her hair loose with wooden fingers. This was her ritual, it freed the song from her.

Think not overly much upon your fondness of anything; possession, creature, or human – for if you do you will begin to cling to it, and your eyes fill with tears for imagined hurts and sorrows, and your love will turn to grief in your heart.